Cursed
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Hey don’t put your life worth over your performance in a game. It’s for fun! If you want help with it let me know, we can work on making chess fun again!
I was 1180 two weeks ago. Now I am down to a little over 900 and just lost twice in a row to someone ranked 913 at the start of our two games. I think the reason I am having problems is that I have always been a loser ever since I came out the womb and for that reason I am doomed to never have anything about myself to be proud of. When I first started playing on this site I went all the way down to 550 elo and have been working my way up since but everytime I get into the high 1100s I start sucking again and it reminds me that the good things in my life only ever occur in small bursts so that I can experience the humiliation and disappointment of having them ripped away. The only thing I was proud of in my pathetic life was improving at chess but I see now that I don't deserve any satisfaction or consistent improvement and if I wasn't such a coward I would take my own life because I know I will never get married, never have kids, and that it's all downhill from here. There are 8 billion people on the planet the more losers like me that die the better, I won't do it though because my mom would be sad and I'm too much of a coward anyways to die with any honor.