Do you let her win?

So much for the sophisticated language skills.

With wife or gf, suggest strip-chess. Her skills will improve immediately.

 Skills

Claiming your a high school English teacher: *5

Get her playing here on Chess.com, and she'll find somebody to play with at her level. She'll start winning and improving.

Looks like I have a rant after all…..  Lol!!

1. It was supposed to be fun.   Right around comment #75, it ceased being fun.  My self-deprecating acknowledgement was just that.  As I have the humility to accept my own flaws with humor, I’d expect grown men in a playful exchange to laugh along with me, not at me.

2. As you have reiterated for the audience here, I’ve been known to commit grammatical errors.  If you are interested in critiquing my professionalism as a teacher of English any further, I’d ask that you move into the realms of either literature or rhetoric.  But here, too, I must acknowledge that the breadth of available material is far greater than me.  Ever the student, rest assured—if you query me on something I do not know, I will tell you and then have the pleasure of looking it up. 

3. Yes, facts are often considered claims that require supporting evidence.  However, as my private identity is something I do not share, in the name of sportsmanship I need to ask you to take on faith the fact that I report every morning to a high school where I teach freshman and sophomore English as well as Creative Writing.   Need further proof?  How about a little Hamlet?  “Seems, madam?  Nay it is.  I know not seems.”  I do not claim to be an English teacher.  I am an English teacher.

That I am still writing is perhaps the most damning evidence.  Lol!!!!

Ok, well that was fun!!!  In a geeky-English teacher kind of way.  Hahahahaha!!

Thanks, dude!

4. Losing points for not recognizing that Trysts was a woman, hmm.  Did you know?  I know a dozen or so people on chess.com and Trysts is not one of them.  Yes, I made the assumption and it’s an easy one to make.  I would have addressed this in the rant I promised her but again, it wasn’t really fun anymore and as the saying goes, if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it.

5. No, this doesn’t feel good either.  I don’t like the tone, but frankly I don’t have the time to devout to revision at the moment—kids to raise, papers to grade, holiday to decorate for and the like.  And oh, yeah.  I came on here this morning to play chess.   

**Irresistible revisions: 

Admittedly, though, leading me to a whimsical use of Hamlet actually scored you some points there.

I must admit, item #3 occurred to me after item #4, but I moved it up so as to move through my points thematically.   That led to a big shift in tone, which does please me, but I haven’t the time to continue revising for tone throughout.  I trust you’ll cope with the imbalance. 

More accidental  geeky-English teacher humor.  Thanks!  Hahahahaha!!! 

Dude, you’re doing better than I expected.  Little positive reinforcement there from your teacher—nice right?  ;)

6. I’ve been calling you Dude this whole time.  My apologies.  Poor assumption, huh?  It’s Dudette, isn’t it?   Of course, I have a male friend—from chess.com, actually—who calls me Dude.  Students call me Dude.  Some female students do object to the nickname.    

I know you call yourself “king” but society is filled with deceptions.   I would delve into Freud with you, but I just finished teaching Oedipus and I’m really not in the mood.   I’ve moved on, you know?

If you would be so kind as to divulge your gender and state your preference, I would be happy to accommodate your needs. 

In the “biz” we call this differentiated instruction.  I excel at it, actually.  And guess, what?  I use chess as a hook when differentiating.  It works beautifully.   If you showed up in my building for 8^th period lunch, you’d see some spill over, with 2-3 boards going.   

I play all challengers.

**I am quite verbose--I need a second posting!!!  You know girls.  We talk.  Or is that because I am an English teacher?  Or both?  Oooo!! 

7. Everyone wants to beat the teacher!!   The chess.com friend I referenced has been my teacher/coach and I would love to take him down, so I suppose it’s not surprising. 

8. I have been a chess.com member since late April of this year.  I have a brand new, shiny 1017 in live that I am quite proud of, having fallen to the mid-500’s during the days of deepest darkness. 

My online rating is currently 1158.  I am an inconsistent player at best.    In the last week, I’ve lost to a player rated under 1000, and won against an opponent 1400+.  My goal here is the same as when I gamble—I want to have fun and leave with the same amount I had when I arrived.  That would 1200.   It’s going to be a tall, tall order in live, but I’m hovering in online.  It’ll do.

9. I disclosed my ratings because the challenge that I received reveals you as an unrated player.  Could you kindly describe your level of play so that I might “know” my opponent?

10, An unrated game?  Seriously?  I’m a big girl.  If you look at my online games, you’ll see that in addition to playing opponents with similar ratings, I routinely get smacked around by the big kids.  They are all exceptionally kind and funny and I learn a great deal from them.   The highest rated opponent that I am currently playing is rated at 1644.  If your rating is higher than his, well how exciting!! 

11. In the classroom, on the boards, on the basketball court, in the kitchen—I don’t shrink from a challenge.  I fail plenty, but I don’t shrink. 

Bring it on kind sir/madam/young man/missy.   

I intend to rechallenge you to a rated game, unless this is not acceptable to you.  Hey—let’s just play both, huh? 

12.  Btw, did I mention I have 7 brothers?  Most were marines.  I’m the “baby”.   I have 2 sisters, too.  They are all gonna LOVE this! 

Ooo-Rah!  

13.  I need to pick up my kids at CCD--we'll back to challenge you in just a few.

:) 

TLDR

I'm new at text-speak.  TLDR?

Sorry

Too Long, Didn't Read.

Hahahahahahahahaha!!  

It's light reading--really.  

 In the case of do you know your Litterature

How many Years does it take the second most powerful computer in the universe to solve the answer to life the universe and everything, and what is the Most powerfull computer in the universe.

and what beings are smarter than Humans

I love the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, but I've never seen it taught in a literature class.

Wrong subject, jetfighter13 is talking Litterature.

Do keep up.

Is that the study of littering?

Hmm...not sure.  Are you referring to A HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy?  I don't know the answers, but that's the reference, no?   

And an animal smarter than humans?  There has to be more than one species, but I'm going to go with elephants.   

And I'm out for a while.  I was following this thread but Jiminy Christmas, I wanna play chess!   

No the analysis as to the deeper reason for littering, you are thinking of Litterology both of which I have a masters in, I think Prawn has a phD in litterature

Geez--by the time I hit enter three people had already responded.  Is anyone  playing chess today??  

yes, 45 games going on

All of that forum post refers to the Hitchhikers Guide.

In the book, the animals that are smarter than humans are white mice and dolphins.