Here is what I've always done in daily games, and it helped me a lot with looking at my opponent's ideas in other modes as well.
Basically, in daily games (when I'm not rushing through games), every time I consider a move seriously, I ask myself: "If I make this move, and my opponent plays flawlessly, then what will the position be like in 3-4 moves?" So I naturally start looking for my opponent's best response and counter-plan. It becomes a second nature after a while, you no longer look at the game as "me vs him", but rather you see the game as a whole and treat both sides equally.
Why daily games? Because in daily games you can use an analysis board and you can actually play through all these lines, making the power of the opponent's ideas clearer. You can (and should) still focus on your own plans and ideas and not get into the trap of passively reacting to your opponent's threats, abandoning your own aspirations - but you can foresee the consequences of those plans and ideas, and neglect those that you aren't happy with.
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Short answer - psychologically, you should learn to treat both sides fairly, to see the game not as "me vs him", but as "white vs black", with you playing one of the sides, but observing both. Question like "if I were my opponent, how would I respond?", "Would this be a good move if the opponent was a perfect chess engine?", "What are the flaws of this move the other side can try to exploit?" should turn your thinking towards the right direction.
Hello
I am a chess player that does tactics problems all days for years now. I myself am good at doing it. I can calculate and find themes relative easy. But I have a problem at real games: my inner horse. I mean, during games I have an innate tendency to think without seeing my opponent's threats, only to desire to play my own ideas (maybe a consequence of doing tactics). I try to force myself into looking at my opponent's ideas, but my inner horse comes again and again at the end. I can not maintein all the game looking for safety and ends falling on an opponent idea; And when I force myself into look at opponent ideas, that's something that I do not do naturally and tire me a lot.
My question is: is there any way to dominate the horse, and ends up doing it naturally?
Maybe this is more a psycological question, but I have lead to the conclusion that dominating inner feelings is the way to improve chess and I have no idea on how to improve in this area.
Regards
Fer