Excuses for not accepting rematches

We've cut off hands for a lot less

i forgot to say battery low but that's too extreme. They may die of shock

     I'd like to accept a re-match but my parole officer is at the front door. 

My manager just called and they want me on the set for the latest porn film. 

Calling in my chum David so he locks this thing too.

My dog ate my computer.

I accept a rematch unless-

1)The opponent doesn't resign in a  lost position when i have enough time left.

2)Offers a draw in a normal position.

3)Plays the french exchange

Can't rematch…my right hand is otherwise engaged

This.

"Sorry, I'm busy trying to find an excuse"

"I am a sissy, I care about my rating points".

     Can't do a re-match.  Publishers Clearinghouse is knocking at the front door.

     Can't do a re-match.  My dominatrix just called and said to get over to her house immediately!!