Fantasy Idea by Squiddy
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How olds your sister
Jul 2, 2019
0
#26
Kurt Vonegut said (I'm paraphrasing) one key to good writing is to share with the audience quickly, don't be coy or beat around the bush... Get to the point and tell your audience as much as you can as quickly as you can.
You do this! ... almost to a fault... for instance, where you describe the war room as "dungeon-like", I would pause to describe the room a bit, and the people (all I know is, there are a LOT of torches ;-), but you really get right to the action and advance the plot at a quick pace and THAT held my attention.
If I was your editor and this was your first draft, I'd breath a sigh of relief... My job is going to be easy.
Good job!
Jul 2, 2019
0
#27
cnj513 wrote:
Kurt Vonegut said (I'm paraphrasing) one key to good writing is share with the audience quickly, don't be coy or bet around the bush... Get to the point and tell your audience as much as you can as quickly as you can.
You do this! ... almost to a fault... for instance, where you describe the war room as "dungeon-like", I would pause to describe the room a bit (all I know is, there are a LOT of torches ;-), but you really get right to the action and advance the plot at a quick pace and THAT held my attention.
If I was your editor and this was your first draft, I'd breath a sigh of relief... My job is going to be easy.
Good job!
Thanks! Sometimes I wish I could be a tad more descriptive, but you're right!
Jul 2, 2019
0
#30
I edited my post with a few aditional thoughts mssg# 26
(great minds think alike, I agree with your-self criticism - it's a VERY good sign that you can be self-critical... it means you can learn!)
Jul 2, 2019
0
#31
cnj513 wrote:
I edited my post with a few aditional thoughts mssg# 26
(great minds think alike, I agree with your-self criticism - it's a VERY good sign that you can be self-critical... it means you can learn!)
Thanks, pal! Much appreciated!
Jul 2, 2019
0
#32
I'm the best writer I know personally and you're quite a bit better than I was at your age.
Jul 2, 2019
0
#33
It's not hard, just stop and describe, and use ALL the words, keep a thesaurus handy...The better you get, the less you'll reach for it because your vocabuary may become more fluid and available, your writing will get richer.
When I I hit that sentence, I'm thinking, I want hear about the stone, the dampness, the musty odors, distant noises, eyes adjusting to the dark
Be sensual, sight, smell sound, tactile even taste... it puts people into the room.
I'd be careful about changing styles though, I've ruined good writing beyond retrieval digressing into dscription.
You might try writing a whole book in the same style you wrote those paragrahs, as a first draft, and only then, going through it and adding descriptions where appropriate.
Ha!... You may have helped ME in my writing... I really have a problem moving forward, I bog down, I get lost in my own descriptions until I've lost the path!
I'm going to try that!... Plow through the action and plot exposition at a "falling-forward" rapid pace, ignoring description, and add it in the second draft... Yes, yes,... I'm going to do that
Jul 2, 2019
0
#34
cnj513 wrote:
It's not hard, just stop and describe, and use ALL the words, keep a thesaurus handy...The better you get, the less you'll reach for it because your vocabuary may become more fluid and available, your writing will get richer.
When I I hit that sentence, I'm thinking, I want hear about the stone, the dampness, the musty odors, distant noises, eyes adjusting to the dark
Be sensual, sight, smell sound, tactile even taste... it puts people into the room.
I'd be careful about changing styles though, I've ruined good writing beyond retrieval digressing into dscription.
You might try writing a whole book in the same style you wrote those paragrahs, as a first draft, and only then, going through it and adding descriptions where appropriate.
Ha!... You may have helped ME in my writing... I really have a problem moving forward, I bog down, I get lost in my own descriptions until I've lost the path!
I'm going to try that!... Plow through the action and plot exposition at a "falling-forward" rapid pace, ignoring description, and add it in the second draft... Yes, yes,... I'm going to do that
That sound like an excellent way of going about it!