Feeling honestly worthless after chess.

So just for some background I have been playing chess for roughly 4 years and learning how to play most openings. But have a Win loss of almost 12-100, I can never win because i don't know what I'm doing wrong or how to improve. Everything i see seems fine to me. I even sit at the board for longer than 16 hours. And yet don't see any other moves i could have done. and I feel more worthless playing chess than anything else i have done ever. 

Any tips how i could improve. Because I certainly don't see anything wrong with any of my moves. This game makes me feel like kurt cobain honestly. Just give me a shotgun already. Thats how worthless i feel after playing more games irl. Getting my shit kicked in....

Its just not all the time off the board. On here too i don't see anything wrong with my moves either. IRL i have like a 2200 rating. On here its like 900. Of course after smurf accs of course......

Ain’t no way you have a rating of 2200 irl and losing to 900’s

Hi I looked at two of your games -- and with due respect, I would have to say that I am also not believing that it is the play of 2200 otb. Please read no condescension into this, I am just pointing out this claim is quite doubtful based on the moves of your games. That being said, I'd say don't get discouraged! Chess is hard and complex. I do absolutely horrible stuff all the time but I have kept at it regardless, and I plan to keep going even though I will surely make countless more blunders and play awful games before I reach my personal goal.

A year ago, I was like 800 (on an account which I closed last July, haha). I personally feel like doing puzzles helped with calculation ability, and watching videos helped me grasp some concepts. (I started chess with hardly any knowledge and only started really learning some fundamentals when I was like 1100, but then those videos alone made a huge difference right away). All of this hasn't gotten me anywhere 2200 or even close to my personal goal, but at least I'm a lot better than a year ago. Ultimately, I believe most anyone can make progress. If you feel you're stuck, maybe it's a sign you need to shift your approach to chess and find what works for you.

I looked at these two games and here are a few random comments, I hope it is at least somewhat helpful. (I'm not that strong, at the moment of writing this haven't played much rated rapid on here but I'd estimate true rating is ~1500, and in particular I have very bad positional sense. Maybe others can add on too.)

https://www.chess.com/game/live/68461307229?username=toxic1945

On move 6 you can gain a pawn rather than just trading knights. Also, after move 8 you actually have a win, but when you play 9. Bb5+ you are now hanging a bishop and queen and you lose your advantage. But at least you can keep it equalish by moving your queen to like f4, so that their knight is hanging while your bishop is hanging. For these things, I feel like practicing calculation ability may help with these kinds of errors. And then hanging piece stuff (delayed taking a hanging knight, put rook in line of a bishop), and the back rank mate. At least for me personally, puzzles helped a lot with stuff like that -- seeing stuff going on on the board, recognizing basic mating patterns. (I still make basic blunders a ton though )

https://www.chess.com/game/live/68460724947?username=toxic1945

I notice that both in this game and the previous one you play checks that can just be stopped with a pawn. Generally you don't want to do stuff like that as it just wastes a move for you. Of course there is the fork issue; make sure to be solid with your basic tactics. Also try to be purposeful with your moves and coordinate your pieces; a lot of the time I don't know what you are going for and why you keep on trading when down material.

Just quick thoughts based on those two games. Anyway tl;dr, I think you should not give up hope and there are definitely ways you can practice/improve. Good luck with your chess!

"IRL I have like 2200 rating" with the way this guy wrote this I have a feeling he doesn't have any OTB rating and just assumes that he's around 2200 strength, 'cause sorry but there is absolutely no way you're 2200 OTB and have a win rate of 12% here. 2200 is master level in chess fyi

I don’t think so bub

The first step is to stop lying to yourself. You'll be respected much more if you say you're 900 which you are than if you claim to be 2200 which is a blatant lie.

Well you must be interested to stick at it, well done!

Have you a local chess club they may have players that will help you one on one. Get good and you never know you may be coached. 

Look for lesson help on YT and watch the gams. No worries have fun just If you are serious and I think you are as you stated a thread - research, practice. Look for some chess books 👍

Otb I can see thing much more clearly vs online. Its very hard for me to see much and i make constant blunder that i would see otb 

Hmm, if that is the case, I have a friend who has an electronic board. Apparently it can connect to chess.com and you can play games otb because the computer makes the pieces move.

(looked so creepy the first time I saw it haha)

Please link your OTB account, I'm curious.

The issue is that we can clearly see your games. It has nothing to do with seeing the board online vs OTB. You barely know the basics. 

Stating that you are 2 200 OTB is as outlandish as if a 7 year old who just learned how to add up to 100, states that he is a math high school professor.

You can kind of tell the difference between those two. 

I'm just making this post for the award.

This community is just unfit, and not helpful at all. Thanks for not helping lol. Believe what you want but irl i am 2200. Come meet me in georgia.

That was their swan song. I don't have to feel guilty about this one.

In case no one noticed, this account is closed.