Mornington Crescent !
FM is no title!

FM is fine. It is not much, but I still consider it a real title - it could be called n00b master. On the other hand, NM and CM should not be considered real titles. The requirements you have to fulfill to get NM differ from country to country. In some countries you have to become national champion to get it, in others (for example US) you just need to know how to move pieces.
So, you dont know how to move the pieces?

Why are people saying CM title is a joke? Should I not claim it once I get to 2200 FIDE? Should I wait until I get to 2300 FIDE to get the FM title?

Yeah mate. I waited 7 years to claim it and only claimed it in the end to get the diamond membership here. Blast through to FM and retain some dignity

Do you think I will be able to get laid in Russia if I say I am just a FM? Should I get the IM title before trying to marry with a matryoshka?

When Dzinzdzi was asked what is the difference between a GM and an IM, he responded:
No GM wants to be an IM.

There was a kind of humor in the topic. I wanted to try this provocative discussion
Riiiight, so you just woke up this morning and thought "I'll have a go at trolling today!"? That's fine, but you should realise that to be a top level troll you have to put in many, many hours of hard work. And even then, without a certain amount of natural ability, you may never be really good. If you want to walk this path, it's probably best to start with the classics - dig out some old forum topics by say Macer and Vlad and analyse those. Try to understand what each topic was trying to achieve in general terms, and then try to understand why they wrote each new post as the thread developed.
Who's Vlad?

By the way, I think we should teach this guy how to troll properly. One does not create a troll thread just to apologize in the first page.

<Bishop_g5> Since when are twelve moves enough to convert a winning endgame?
It often takes over thirty moves. Now go do that in 3.8 seconds.

bha....this topic is very strange...
a FM ashamed to be FM....
mmmh......and 99,9% of the players that are not titled??
GM are better, but in the life exists the categories.
This topic is like if in Tennis, the 200th in the world cry because can't be Federer.....
but..... the 200th in the world wins against 99,9% of the world tennis players....and is not bad for me.
Very strange topic.
There was a kind of humor in the topic. I wanted to try this provocative discussion
Riiiight, so you just woke up this morning and thought "I'll have a go at trolling today!"? That's fine, but you should realise that to be a top level troll you have to put in many, many hours of hard work. And even then, without a certain amount of natural ability, you may never be really good. If you want to walk this path, it's probably best to start with the classics - dig out some old forum topics by say Macer and Vlad and analyse those. Try to understand what each topic was trying to achieve in general terms, and then try to understand why they wrote each new post as the thread developed.