You taking this game too serous if you ask me.
Chess is making me angry and miserable
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"..., you have to make a decision: have tons of fun playing blitz (without learning much), or be serious and play with longer time controls so you can actually think.
One isn't better than another. Having fun playing bullet is great stuff, while 3-0 and 5-0 are also ways to get your pulse pounding and blood pressure leaping off the charts. But will you become a good player? Most likely not.
Of course, you can do both (long and fast games), but I don’t recommend that right now. ..." - IM Jeremy Silman (June 9, 2016)
https://www.chess.com/article/view/longer-time-controls-are-more-instructive
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Jul 16, 2019
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#5
To find acceptance in one's mind, it becomes necessary to accept one's addictions. We all have em ... in one form or another.
Naturally, anger is trying to defeat the spirit. The energy is better served by appreciation and celebration.
Jul 16, 2019
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#7
When should a hobby make one miserable? Clearly, it's the wrong hobby. It's a Board Game. The issues only creep in when Chess is made out to be more than it is for 99% of players. Let the other 1% fight it out over prize $, it will never be you.
Miserable ? Take up knitting, bocce ball or sky diving ... anything but chess.
I think the OP's account's been deleted. Ziryab probably "inherited" this thread.
Mar 21, 2024
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#9
A hobby implies on-going gratification. When I fly RC planes I anticipate flying more than I crash. When baking, I anticipate the enjoyment of both cooking and the eating. Do you anticipate winning more than you lose at chess? Chess is not like this. Without continual improvement, knowledge, and effort the best one can hope for is wins balancing the losses at some level (what is referred to as plateauing). Thus the game-like aspect makes it misleading to call it a hobby. It is more akin to a job, where the only way to advance is through effort. Anger is superficially caused by loosing or being embarassed at our own moves. Indirectly its due to the expectation as a hobby that the gratification (wins) will outweigh the losses, with minimal or patient engagement - the basic notion of a hobby. This is not chess. Aside from a continual effort to improve wins, the only other way chess can be a hobby is to redefine gratification as just playing. Also exceedingly difficult given the nature of the game.
Yeah I think its break time for a few days maybe even weeks....its getting real bad (the self loathing and anger)