Running away, eh?
When people run away from a second game...
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Jan 1, 2020
0
#22
After a 3 minute game my brain is tired so I need a bit of a rest. But most times I accept a re-match because threads like these make one feel a real bad guy if one does not.
Jan 1, 2020
0
#23
uri65 schreef:
Could it be that with early chess servers waiting time for a match was measured in minutes and you'd better play a rematch than wait?
I just don't get it - people get frustrated (?!?!) because they can't play same anonymous opponent again while other anonymous opponents are available within seconds?
Point one; no.
Point two; wanting a rematch is just a very natural thing when it comes to gaming. Wether it be video games, card games, other board games...
Anyway, i'm not wasting my time on this discussion any further. I have said all i wanted to say. Y'all enjoy yourselves now, you hear 
Jan 1, 2020
0
#24
If your name really is Olivier Blunder, then I'll give you a rematch because that's what you'll probably do.
Jan 1, 2020
0
#25
AussieRookie schreef:
If your name really is Olivier Blunder, then I'll give you a rematch because that's what you'll probably do.
Haha no, that is not my real name. But i do blunder. Don't we all? But how bout you challenge me for a daily game and put your money where your mouth is? Minimum 3 days per move preferably.
I could see getting frustrated at not getting a rematch in a variant where it takes 10 minutes to find one opponent. But if other players are available 3 seconds after your game ends, why bother?
Spelenderwijs wrote:
I don't know anyone that does that...
harbi_canoshi schreef:
It is only after a loss that a rematch is asked. Never after they have won.
Yeah and it's funny that after they decline your offer and you encounter them again some other day, when they forgot all about you (otherwise why else would they play you again), and you win, Then they start asking for a rematch! And if you accept (i often do), and they win, your rematch offer will be rejected right after.
Jan 1, 2020
0
#29
I’ve seen that, harbi_canoshi schreef; It makes perfect sense and what beautiful poetic justice. It’s not rocket science, JARP, people typically and almost only (myself included) ask for rematches when they lose. I usually always accept a rematch now, unless I have to go away from my PC for some reason. But I typically ask for a rematch only after I’ve lost.
I usually ask for a rematch after I have slipped during a game, or I make a particularly bad blunder because I was distracted by a friend or family member. I’m usually just really curious to know if I could’ve beaten that person or not.
As for using the term “Coward,” I am guilty of it too, of being a coward, but much more so when I first started on here (And come on, I’m teasing a bit, too). I really try to accept rematches when I can, because I truly feel I learn a lot from them, and it helps me to face my fear of losing against someone even if I just beat them two or three times. Admit it, it feels good to walk away with a victory and not give them a chance to redeem themselves. But it’s kind of cowardly to not give them the chance to redeem themselves at least once.
But here is the most powerful lesson I have ever learned from rematches, and I don’t care what level player you are, this affects you too and you will never understand it unless you do rematches and this happens to you: I was playing games against someone and the first one or two were tricky, but I won. By the third game I was beating him pretty easily, and I beat him one or two more times pretty easily. Later that day, I played someone and nearly lost and then was shocked to realize It was that same person (I had not looked at the name or picture). After realizing it was him, guess what? I proceeded to beat him easily for one or two more games.
The confidence factor is something that’s hard to recognize. It’s not like you can tell yourself OK I’m gonna feel confident… It’s just something you feel when it happens. I never realized I felt it until I felt it that time. You see it in movies, read about it in books and hear about it in stories all the time, but it’s really something when it happens to YOU. I felt like I put on a super power cloak and just started winning. That’s ego speaking, but it sure was fun.
Here’s the thing, how many games have you lost simply because weren’t confident? I think doing rematches can help with that; it can help you begin to discover different nuances about playing against people and it can give you an edge. When you feel that uneasiness about playing another game against someone, face it and overcome it. Confidence is a muscle like any other; you need to build it.
So open your closet, take out that dusty confidence cloak, put that puppy on and start building an edge for yourself. You will have an edge against people who lack this sort of confidence.
I usually ask for a rematch after I have slipped during a game, or I make a particularly bad blunder because I was distracted by a friend or family member. I’m usually just really curious to know if I could’ve beaten that person or not.
As for using the term “Coward,” I am guilty of it too, of being a coward, but much more so when I first started on here (And come on, I’m teasing a bit, too). I really try to accept rematches when I can, because I truly feel I learn a lot from them, and it helps me to face my fear of losing against someone even if I just beat them two or three times. Admit it, it feels good to walk away with a victory and not give them a chance to redeem themselves. But it’s kind of cowardly to not give them the chance to redeem themselves at least once.
But here is the most powerful lesson I have ever learned from rematches, and I don’t care what level player you are, this affects you too and you will never understand it unless you do rematches and this happens to you: I was playing games against someone and the first one or two were tricky, but I won. By the third game I was beating him pretty easily, and I beat him one or two more times pretty easily. Later that day, I played someone and nearly lost and then was shocked to realize It was that same person (I had not looked at the name or picture). After realizing it was him, guess what? I proceeded to beat him easily for one or two more games.
The confidence factor is something that’s hard to recognize. It’s not like you can tell yourself OK I’m gonna feel confident… It’s just something you feel when it happens. I never realized I felt it until I felt it that time. You see it in movies, read about it in books and hear about it in stories all the time, but it’s really something when it happens to YOU. I felt like I put on a super power cloak and just started winning. That’s ego speaking, but it sure was fun.
Here’s the thing, how many games have you lost simply because weren’t confident? I think doing rematches can help with that; it can help you begin to discover different nuances about playing against people and it can give you an edge. When you feel that uneasiness about playing another game against someone, face it and overcome it. Confidence is a muscle like any other; you need to build it.
So open your closet, take out that dusty confidence cloak, put that puppy on and start building an edge for yourself. You will have an edge against people who lack this sort of confidence.
Jan 1, 2020
0
#30
chesstenor2018 wrote:
I’ve seen that, harbi_canoshi schreef; It makes perfect sense and what beautiful poetic justice. It’s not rocket science, JARP, people typically and almost only (myself included) ask for rematches when they lose. I usually always accept a rematch now, unless I have to go away from my PC for some reason. But I typically ask for a rematch only after I’ve lost.
I usually ask for a rematch after I have slipped during a game, or I make a particularly bad blunder because I was distracted by a friend or family member. I’m usually just really curious to know if I could’ve beaten that person or not.
As for using the term “Coward,” I am guilty of it too, of being a coward, but much more so when I first started on here (And come on, I’m teasing a bit, too). I really try to accept rematches when I can, because I truly feel I learn a lot from them, and it helps me to face my fear of losing against someone even if I just beat them two or three times. Admit it, it feels good to walk away with a victory and not give them a chance to redeem themselves. But it’s kind of cowardly to not give them the chance to redeem themselves at least once.
But here is the most powerful lesson I have ever learned from rematches, and I don’t care what level player you are, this affects you too and you will never understand it unless you do rematches and this happens to you: I was playing games against someone and the first one or two were tricky, but I won. By the third game I was beating him pretty easily, and I beat him one or two more times pretty easily. Later that day, I played someone and nearly lost and then was shocked to realize It was that same person (I had not looked at the name or picture). After realizing it was him, guess what? I proceeded to beat him easily for one or two more games.
The confidence factor is something that’s hard to recognize. It’s not like you can tell yourself OK I’m gonna feel confident… It’s just something you feel when it happens. I never realized I felt it until I felt it that time. You see it in movies, read about it in books and hear about it in stories all the time, but it’s really something when it happens to YOU. I felt like I put on a super power cloak and just started winning. That’s ego speaking, but it sure was fun.
Here’s the thing, how many games have you lost simply because weren’t confident? I think doing rematches can help with that; it can help you begin to discover different nuances about playing against people and it can give you an edge. When you feel that uneasiness about playing another game against someone, face it and overcome it. Confidence is a muscle like any other; you need to build it.
So open your closet, take out that dusty confidence cloak, put that puppy on and start building an edge for yourself. You will have an edge against people who lack this sort of confidence.
I usually ask for a rematch after I have slipped during a game, or I make a particularly bad blunder because I was distracted by a friend or family member. I’m usually just really curious to know if I could’ve beaten that person or not.
As for using the term “Coward,” I am guilty of it too, of being a coward, but much more so when I first started on here (And come on, I’m teasing a bit, too). I really try to accept rematches when I can, because I truly feel I learn a lot from them, and it helps me to face my fear of losing against someone even if I just beat them two or three times. Admit it, it feels good to walk away with a victory and not give them a chance to redeem themselves. But it’s kind of cowardly to not give them the chance to redeem themselves at least once.
But here is the most powerful lesson I have ever learned from rematches, and I don’t care what level player you are, this affects you too and you will never understand it unless you do rematches and this happens to you: I was playing games against someone and the first one or two were tricky, but I won. By the third game I was beating him pretty easily, and I beat him one or two more times pretty easily. Later that day, I played someone and nearly lost and then was shocked to realize It was that same person (I had not looked at the name or picture). After realizing it was him, guess what? I proceeded to beat him easily for one or two more games.
The confidence factor is something that’s hard to recognize. It’s not like you can tell yourself OK I’m gonna feel confident… It’s just something you feel when it happens. I never realized I felt it until I felt it that time. You see it in movies, read about it in books and hear about it in stories all the time, but it’s really something when it happens to YOU. I felt like I put on a super power cloak and just started winning. That’s ego speaking, but it sure was fun.
Here’s the thing, how many games have you lost simply because weren’t confident? I think doing rematches can help with that; it can help you begin to discover different nuances about playing against people and it can give you an edge. When you feel that uneasiness about playing another game against someone, face it and overcome it. Confidence is a muscle like any other; you need to build it.
So open your closet, take out that dusty confidence cloak, put that puppy on and start building an edge for yourself. You will have an edge against people who lack this sort of confidence.
I think it's good to not take games so personally. If you get mad, it can even cause you to preform badly in your next several games.
I know that's easy to say and hard to do, but for example I think my policy of never offering a rematch but (almost) always accepting might help take some pressure off of you. We all lose because of ridiculous mistakes from time to time, and beating someone in a rematch isn't going to change that 
So just forgive yourself for being human like the rest of us, and move on to the next game
Jan 1, 2020
0
#31
CamKeller, Good for you for doing rematches, even if just with your friends. By the way, that remark that Aussie...made about being a killer clown was meant for me, because of my picture.
Jan 1, 2020
0
#32
JustARandomPatzer schreef:
Spelenderwijs wrote:
I don't know anyone that does that...
harbi_canoshi schreef:
It is only after a loss that a rematch is asked. Never after they have won.
Yeah and it's funny that after they decline your offer and you encounter them again some other day, when they forgot all about you (otherwise why else would they play you again), and you win, Then they start asking for a rematch! And if you accept (i often do), and they win, your rematch offer will be rejected right after.
Well, i do.
I never ask for rematch, so i don't know how it feel for being rejected. But what i don't understand is why subject someone who reject as running away as it's mandatory to play 2nd game? Lol
Jan 1, 2020
0
#35
harlons wrote:
I never ask for rematch, so i don't know how it feel for being rejected. But what i don't understand is why subject someone who reject as running away as it's mandatory to play 2nd game? Lol
It's probably something like projection or cognitive dissonance.
Their internal story before the game was "I'm a good player" but then they lose in a way a "good player" wouldn't, so they're faced with a delimma: either downgrade their self image (which is psychologically very uncomfortable), or do something like get a rematch right away to "prove" their self image is correct.
If the rematch is rejected, then the negative feelings they have about themselves are projected onto the person who rejected the offer as a defense mechanism because accepting a negative self image is too uncomfortable.
Jan 1, 2020
0
#36
I feel like it's the same reason people call murderers "cowards"
Someone who takes a gun and and randomly shoots people isn't brave, or cowardly, just like they're not blue or green. Putting them on a scale of brave to cowardly doesn't even make sense. But the idea that people like those shooters exist causes fear (and for good reason). The feeling of fear is uncomfortable and instead of accepting "that person makes me afraid" their feelings are projected onto the shooter, essentially "I'm not the coward, they're the coward!"
lol
People are dumb like that.
Jan 1, 2020
0
#37
Anyway, so one solution to the rematch thing might be to look online for stories of GMs losing in ridiculous ways. These are professionals who have literally spent their entire lives (and professional careers) developing chess skill... and then they do things like hang mate in 1 for the world to see
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYOES3zZDu0
Or they do stuff like...
I can't find the game, but back when Nakamura had still never beaten Carlsen (in like, 20 games across 5 years were all draws and losses) Naka finally had a position where the engine gives +20 and every move wins...
Every move wins except only 1. Only 1 move draws... and Naka played that move and Carlsen found the draw.
I mean, if pros can do this, then we should forgive ourselves for playing like idiots from time to time. And if you can do that then maybe rematches after a loss wont seem so important anymore.
As for me personally, I usually accept rematches, but I never offer one.
