I was recently playing an online game at another chess website to see how their games were (trust me when I say, stick to chess.com). My opponent, with a rating 940 points above me made the initial challange. I explained that I hadn't played in a long time due to health reasons and was playing very bad chess. I didn't want this guy to waste his time with a player that was not offering him a challange. He told me it was no problem and we started the game. I did fairly well in the opening and gained equal material. However, by the end of our "middle game" I was losing. He didn't suggest I resign and I felt that at that moment that I need not resign. I was more than willing to resign (as I would do when the game is completely lost and I am just wasting my opponent's time) when the time came.
I noticed that our instant messenging went from friendly conversation regarding opening technique to a rather cold, slightly cruel lecture on his end of the conversation. I kept my "chit chat" to a minimum since he didn't seem very happy.
He won the game and I truly enjoyed his playing style. I learned something from it as well. I tried to mention this to him and he ripped me a new one. I made the mistake of trying to explain the circumstances that caused me to essentially learn the game over again. Here's basically what I tried to explain:
Two years ago I was diagnosed with head and neck cancer. I went through intense amounts of radiation (and chemotherapy). I played chess through the worst of it and I have to say that chess (and the support of my wife and family) saved my life. When I couldn't go on I would start playing chess until the worst of it passed. At one point I was given a 20% chance of living no longer that three months. Thankfully, the treatments destroyed the cancer and I survived. However, the treatments physically and mentally crushed me and it's taken a year to even gain back the smallest amount of concentration. In short, it has made playing chess successfully a difficult road. I will gain back my concentration and game with time. However, until then I have to work extra hard.
This is why I tell you that I'm not playing well. I try to give people the opportunity, when they challange me, to either play with me or move on to someone else. I don't want to waste your time if you're looking for a player to challange you. It's that simple. I didn't want to give up on chess because I love it and there's no rule that states "Hugh Patterson has to play at a certain level or he can't play online." I have a big ego but manage to check it at the door when I play chess. Even if I could play like a master I wouldn't let my ego drive my judgement.
I love the game and love writing and blogging about it. As a musician I deal with the ego all the time. I am a good guitar player but I don't slight someone who is a lesser player. You just don't do it. It's your "Karma" job to encourage other guitarists to strive for better playing and you do so with positive words and lessons born from you experience.
My opponent's parting words were (after a brief explanation regarding my poor game play) was simply this:
"This was a total waste of time and so are you. That's what I get for playing against some disease ridden old man."
There you have it. Fortunately, I have had nothing but great experiences with opponents here at chess.com As for me, well I know I have a long hard road ahead of me in order to get my game to an exceptable level and I'm willing to do the work. Yes, his words did hurt me and they did make me feel about two inches tall. It made me ponder the question, what ever happen to good sportsmanship, honor, and basic chess manners?
The lesson I learned here is that we all need to remember that how we bahave online is a mirror to how we really are inside. Yes, being an anonymous figure on the internet seems to give some people a lisense to behave rudely. However, these people are truly sad individuals if they gain enjoyment from cruelty to others. Tip for the day: Be kind to people who are not as good at chess as you are. Offer them some of your wisdom and knowledge. Be giving of yourself and greet them back when they say hello when starting a game. After all, each of us is an ambassador of chess when we meet our opponent on the 64 sqaures of the black and white battlefield. It's better to be remembered as a really good guy or gal rather than a nasty ego driven being. The person you help by offering your hand across the cyber chess board may go on to do wonderful things in their lives and it might have been started by a simple kind comment from you.
Thats horrible ! What is wrong with people ? I was just on live chess and played three games with a person in India who was a true begginer ( her first games ).....she knew how the peices moved and thats about it. She asked me to teach her some things so I took the time to play with her for about a half an hour and explain strategies and so forth. She REALLY appreciated my help and was very encouraged...........it also felt good on my end to promote the game to a new comer...........
One of my best friends has cancer, the radiation has left a "hole" in his face and with no teeth, he has a freakish looking face. In a washroom at a bar a drunk said to him "what the hell happened to your face" my frined explained, the drunk shouted "Well F*** Y** my cousin died of cancer so F***Y**! These jerks can be found anywhere not just in chess on the internet. Anytime you'd like a game Hugh feel free to challenge me.