Help me! I keep losing to pawn storms whenever I'm black

This is a recurring theme that keeps happening to me over and over again:

> I have black pieces

> I castle kingside

> White pawn storms my kingside

> I panic and blunder because I don't know how to handle the pawn storm

> I look up an engine analysis and I have no idea why each move is right or wrong

> I repeat the same mistakes over and over again, because I haven't actually learnt what to do instead

Like I can show you several positions where it's happened. Here is an example, which came at move 13 after the Sicilian Defence Najdorf variation was played:

How do you approach these situations in general? What should my general thought process be? Is there a "rule of thumb" for knowing what to do when you're facing a pawn storm like this?

What creates a successful attack?

Creating a weakness/weaknesses, space, and piece activity.

Let’s take a look at when it makes sense to castle opposite sides and when it doesn't.

You should castle on the opposite side when at least one of the following factors is true:

1. When you are up in development and your opponent has already castled, you should consider castling in the opposite side. That way you will have a clear game plan and will also be able to capitalize on your development advantage.
2. When you have a damaged pawn structure (doubled paws, missing pawns, far advanced pawns, etc.) on one of the sides you should consider castling on the other side.
3. When opponent’s pieces are especially active on one side of the board, it is usually best to castle on the opposite side.
4. If you want to complicate the game you may consider this option. That may be true if you must play for a win due to a tournament situation, when the draw is not enough. Also that maybe done when you're playing against a stronger opponent, who is much better in simple/technical positions. That maybe your best bet.

You should not castle on the opposite sides when at least one of the following factors in true:

1. When you are behind in development and you need extra time to develop your pieces, it is usually not a good idea to give your opponent a straight forward way of launching an attack.
2. When the opponent’s pawns are advanced towards the side you’re about to castle, it is not a good idea to castle there (especially if the opponent’s king is castled on the opposite side). It will just give him a positional edge in the attack.
3. When there are open/semi-open files in-front of the side you’re about to castle, you should probably reconsider your decision to castle there (especially if your opponent has castled on the other side). That will give him more attacking possibilities, such as rook lifts, various sacrifices, doubling of pieces on the file, etc.
4. If you playing against a weaker opponent you may want to avoid castling opposite sides, in order to avoid sharp game and keep everything under control.

Note: These are general rules, not laws, meaning that there are always exceptions to them. When you’re making a decision what side to castle you should always take your time and evaluate all “pros” and “cons” and base your decision upon your own analysis. This is a very important decision. It pretty much dictates which way the game will continue. Take your time and think twice.

The problem is that this kind of pawn storm happens even when we both castle kingside too. It's not as if I can avoid the pawn storm by castling same side. Here is an example:

Middlegame Planning:

1. Expand your position:
2. Gain more space.
3. Improve the position of your pieces.
4. Decide on what side of the board to play.
5. Queenside: a-c files.
6. Center: d-e files.
7. Kingside: f-h files.

            Compare, space, material, and weakness(es)

            Play where you have the advantage.

3. DO NOT HURRY. Regroup your pieces, and be patient.

White has the material, and space advantage on the kingside.  So this lets you know this is the part of the board white wants to play on.  Black doesn't really have any type of tangible advantage anywhere, to take advantage of, so reduce whites advantage on the kingside.