how can i realistically improve?

ive pretty much learned everything in this list except for 5 with the addition of stuff like zugzwangs too, yet my opponents find really hard-to-find moves(around this rating at least) insanely fast(in 3 seconds or less) yet 1 odd thing to note is that they take the exact same amount of time to find very obvious moves, any explanation for this?

Most likely, it's not they found a complex combination- they just found a forcing move and assumed it would lead them to a better position or string of other forcing moves, which is not a sound assumption. Their inability to find obvious moves or avoid blundering is why they're at the Elo they're at, which has a much higher chance of deciding a game than some ten move combination that they serediptously happened to find. 

If you want to expand your chess knowledge, there is an exhausted playlist made by the youtube channel hanging pawns.

but my main problem is that i either get an opponent thats somewhat below, at or slightly above my skill level around 20% of the time and in the remaining 80% its almost always someone thats just too good to be around this rating

That's something you fundamentally can't control. Stop worrying about external problems and focus on building good habits and learning better chess. 

and it's terrible that i have no control over that, as whenever i try to use something that i just learned, my opponent pulls out a very uncommon beginner trap or an opening to specifically confuse beginners, it sucks not being able to use any of the stuff ive learned just because i keep getting mated in 3 moves

there also seem to be youtube channels specifically made by people doing this(https://www.youtube.com/@ChessSimp seems like the most prominent one), artificially dropping to ratings around 100 to mess with beginners, how is this allowed?

Just learn how to refute it. My opponent hit me with the Elephant Gambit and once I learned how to refute it, I don't have to worry about falling victim to it again. 

Don't assume anything as a beginner. If a fourth of your games are due to early queen attacks, learn how to develop against it while making sure a) it can't gobble up your pieces and b) it doesn't gain material from forcing moves like checks. Then you basically are stronger against this type of thing. 

I used to groan every time I saw an incoming scholar's mate, but as I got better, I learned to thrive against it. If you keep studying how to refute your opponent, unsound openings and opening traps will become your opponent essentially handing the game over to you.

From a mathematical standpoint that doesn't really matter. If the opponent you're playing against really is smurfing, the odds of that aren't as high as you think. By definition, as you go up the rating ladder, there will be less and less people in each bracket. When you're like 1200 rapid, that makes you at the top 90th percentile. So even if all players above this bracket smurfed, that would occur one time out of ten, which is a highly unlikely assumption. 

Stop worrying about this and focus on building good habits. That's all I really can say. 

i am, i analyze my games and try to find better ways to defend whenever i spot a trap or a particular set of moves. and even though its working fairly well for now, it really sucks to be hit with 17 book moves in a row by an opponent who i doubt actually is in the 300 range to begin with, i keep missing mates in 1 miserably often and even though im working on it im still kind of dumbfounded by those 17-20 move combinations

Also, stop playing blitz. Play on at least 15 10 time controls so you can actually have time to think about what you're doing and build the habits of king safety. You're falling to a lot of mates because your opponent is targeting your f7/f2 square twice. That's the premise of a scholar's mate. It's actually very common under 1000 but past that Elo it is quickly rooted out because of how refutable it is. 

With friends like that, who needs enemies?