How do you train?

Nope, I feel really really hungry. 

Wait, "carry her babies" ?  I'm with andy on this one.

And what do I see when I open my eyes?  The inside of some Deadhead's van.

Will this work make all my opponents that lose to me due the following:

Cook, clean,  laundry, sleep and etc while i study. Aaaah i need the sleep.

It's one thing trolling here where the question is vague and perennial; and another when the person has clearly spent a lot of time preparing an analysis  that they hope would be taken seriously.

Sniff, sniff, sniff ......... just some old bread.

Need somebody to food shop. I need to focus.

Stress not good for a Grand Master in the working.

Aaaah give me that bread got eat something while you take that run.

Set the alarm for 5am. Hit the snooze button till around 8am.

Get up, throw on a hoodie, crack 6 raw eggs into a glass, pour into frying pan and open a beer.

Regime of champions.

On a more serious note, a dude who did/does a lot of chess coaching on a national level recommends a program with the following key ingredients:

• Analysis of GM games
• Analysis of own games
• Tactics Trainer or equivalent
• Endings analysis
• Analysis of the openings forming one's repertoire
• Physical training (biking, jogging, swimming, etc.)
• Psychological training (know thyself mumbo-jumbo and the like)

Analayze GM games "He would not beat me with that move"

Open books with pages of my greatest wins

Have me mate randomly repeat to me i am the Greatest(in chess)

Use the Chess Board to eat pizza from when not playing.

Create and opnening where i can attack with my little Horsey.

I'd like to share a morning ritual that I perform before beginning my training sessions. I call it "The Terminator". First, I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the Terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg chessing badass.

As a friend of mine would say, "That's pretty gay."

Haha, nice!

Let your Mother in Law nag you practice.

If that does not improve your focus during a game i do not know what will.

As if you can ignore her and still make good moves - great.

Also get a tape of her endless hours of nagging- use it at your leisure.

Be good when your wife gets like her mom and starts nagging. lol.

I just found a variation of that last one. Reward vs. ....

When you lose a game you have to hear that tape for a hour. Well win you win a game pick your reward. The better the win the better the reward.

Well it was close to being extinct. This guy found the perfect opening it was totally unbeatable. Yeah he somewhere out in the Pacific right now.

Yeah that will teach any other guy out their looking for the secret. Now when they get close we take them out before they get a chance to pass along their findings. Over hundreds years in business and still keeping chess alive.

Man have you heard. There is this Orange Drink that looks and taste like soda that players can get to enhance their Chess skills. It is underground and nicknamed Orange Crush. My friend was like 1250 now it has been a week and he playing like 1500. Only thing, it look like it has some side ...... well his memory  of people's name is getting worse. And he seems more addicted to chess.

Hey back in the 70's the Musicians used Weed to enhance their creativity. Helped their mind but destoys the body.

Yeah have fun playing might be the best way to train. Getting a compulsive behavior could do more damage than good. In time things will come. Just stay with it and learn more.

Hey if it is helping you win games pass it along we want to take a puff.

If you care...... share.

If the Po Po come man.... I never saw you day in my life.

Deny, deny and deny.