How is it possible to be this bad and dumb?

2 years ago I made it to 900+ no problem and I was barely even trying and didn't know anything about chess. This year, I've been getting serious about it, learning openings and watching videos, doing puzzle books, etc. And I am now worse for it, below 800 and dropping like a rock. I am so tilted today that my most recent game I was literally not trying and wasn't even paying attention to where I was moving. How is it possible that after putting in an extra thousand games and probably a hundred hours of youtube videos I am actually significantly worse than I was before? I am asking this rhetorically to vent of course, I know the answers but the actual answer are uncomfortable. I am getting dumber, and my mental health is getting worse, and I am so easily tilted I can barely concentrate after a single loss. I've been screaming at myself over and over again, I think I am going insane. So I don't expect replies I guess, just throwing this out there to embarrass myself.

You should stop playing after one game that you lost and wait for the next. You are probably too focused in your rating which worsens your play. You should stop over thinking and start to just do things that make sense. Your 3rd to last game showed that you just blundered a pawn because you thought you had a cool tactic, but of course it’s just a pawn blunder. Stop overthinking and start playing moves that makes sense. For example, but I don’t have a board so I’ll say it in how I think of a move. This move looks good because it goes closer to the opponent’s position and applies pressure and attacks a pawn. Logical thinking is what helps you get far. GMs don’t think hard and calculate 15 moves(except monsters like Hikaru) they just know what to do in certain positions and see the key points on what they need in their plan to work. I have an example of this in my blog. Just wait, I’ll get a link

Go here in this blog called Chess Tips, Annotated Games, And Openings and check what you may be looking for and I’ll be updating this when I get the chance to. It may say unfinished, but that’s just a technical issue. Read this only for those people who know I am on ios I managed to make this because in a club I found a blog link and I clicked and I found the option to make a blog.

https://www.chess.com/blog/Jozonthe195/chess-tips-annotated-games-and-openings-unfinished

Playing games alone won't add to your experience, unless you analyse them. You can't learn from your mistakes if you don't even know what mistakes you have done. If you are serious about chess, like really serious and not just whining, get that premium and have engine do game reviews for you. It will show you everything you need and what I love the most about it, is the graph, that shows you exactly that breaking point and decisive moment of every game.
I have seen people with 150.000 games being 1400 rapid. Isn't it sad, making the same stupid mistakes 150.000 times, over and over again? That's why analysis is so important

I have used En Croissant and stockfish to analyze my games. But lately I have no been doing this and instead just spamming games which obviously doesn't work out for me. Again, it's just my mental health taking a downturn, and I'm kind of just whining and being a sadboy

Being dumb is easy.

As far as I know, the lower rated players nowadays play much better than those years ago.

I just rage

I am low rated