How to be a superfantastic ultraninja 3000

I have been on this site for quite some time now, and have seen endless posts about how to reach a certain strength, be it GM, Master, 2000, a 'good player', and I would like to open this forum for all the kickers of butts to perhaps offer us fish-hacks a little bit of insight into the question that everyone really means to, or should, ask.

What method do you use to assess the position? What methods and subjects of study have provided you with the most practical skill sets to analyse positions?

Make sure and bribe your new superfriend with stacks of cash and copious amounts caffeinated treats, as I've heard this quickens the learning process of the student.

Happy hunting chess fiends.

Yes, offering soft drinks to stronger players during tournament is an excellent strategy