How to become a GM in 2 weeks?

You need three GM Norms to become a Grandmaster.
You can win one norm per tournament.
Not happening in two weeks...

...Any other ways to quickly become a GM?
You could steal a GM's identity. Then when you get tossed into prison, you'd have more time to study. Win-Win...

Depends on the time machine.
If the leavers to operate it are on your left, then it might be easier for your right hand to play d4.

I would suggest Qxe8 as your first move for White and Qxe1 as your first move for Black.
Now you're thinking with portals.

I would suggest Qxe8 as your first move for White and Qxe1 as your first move for Black.
That may be a good idea but I've heard somewhere that it's not a good idea to bring the queen out early.

Study tactics the whole two weeks
Study openings the first few days, you should be able to memorize all the opening moves in two days
Study endgames, you will instantly know 6-piece endgames the first day and 7-piece endgames the second day.
Play in a tournament, the 4 days of studying you will reach 2200 level, the second tournament in 2 days you will have 2400 level.
Apply for a title, the process takes 3 days but you will have your IM title with 4 days to spare
Continue to work until the two week deadline is over, you will have 2800+ level by the end.
Good luck!

It's not impossible.
First, be a junior
Second, get your national chess federation to declare you the nation's junior champion without having played a game.
Third, and this is the hard part
Win FIDE's World Junior Championship on the first attempt.
You will go from unrated to GM in the amount of time it takes to play the tournament, about two weeks.
Is it impossible? No. But it's pretty close.

To become a GM in 2 weeks you need to follow the rules of chess.com
What are the rules of chess.com?

To become a GM in 2 weeks you need to follow the rules of chess.com
What are the rules of chess.com?
First rule of chess.com: do not talk about chess.com
Second rule of chess.com: DO NO TALK ABOUT CHESS.COM
I have set a goal to become a GM in 2 weeks, and would like some suggestions from chess.com on where to start. What books should I read? What YouTube videos should I watch? Any other ways to quickly become a GM?