How to sacrifice the Ginger friend to get better at chess (By popular demand)

Step 1: Get friends irl.

Step 2: Find a person with Ginger hair.

Step 3: "Befriend" them with the help of your other friends.

Step 4: Ask them if they have ever went to the Bahamas (if yes continue if not find a new one).

Step 5: Tell them you bought you and them tickets to go their via airport.

Step 6: Rent a house and bring him there.

Step 7: Tie him down.

Step 8: Cut off some of his hair for the outer circle of the pentagram.

Step 9: Use your blood to make the star.

Step 10: Get him to lie down on it (force him since he's tied up)

Step 11: Find a sharp object.

Step 12: Dig...

I specifically said Blonde on my other tutorial because it is more effective but if you have a Ginger friend but not a blonde one then give this a try!!

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what be wrong with this troubled generation?( does anyone know where i can find ginger friends to do this with?)

People are willing to risk 25 to life to avoid studying opening theory.