How to stay motivated (minor rant)

Rant alert. Sorry if I come across as a whinger etc.

I've been a premium member on this site now for over a year, and in that time whilst I did take a break from chess for awhile (a few months, minus the odd few tactics and the odd game here and there), it doesn't feel like I'm improving. I can generally follow along with videos or tutorials, I know all the rules of chess, I know what forks, pins, skewers etc are, but often I feel like I'm just repeating the same mistakes over and over, and I often get annoyed with myself (and chess in general to some extent) when I lose, or get puzzles wrong etc.

I have and am seriously considering a coach, when I both find a good one and can afford it (6 months or so). However, for now (and possibly even with a coach), I'm not sure what I can do to improve or better yet stay motivated. Unfortunately I generally have a fairly negative view of things in general, and I'm often of the opinion that if I'm not improving or skilled at something then I'm kind of wasting my time and it becomes no longer fun. It's not that I have depression, but I often feel very upset after game losses or similar, it sounds ridiculous but a few lost games can ruin my day.

Also, for anyone looking at my profile. Yes I'm aware I play a fair amount of blitz and bullet. I know these aren't good for improvement. However, including multiple resets I've solved well over 4000 tactics, possibly 5000 by now. Whilst I enjoy them, they are often annoying when I get them wrong or whatever. I also play a lot of daily chess, and rapid when I'm in the mood for it. But in games, be it that my calculation skills are bad, or my strategy or whatever is bad, I blunder, or mess up, or go from winning to losing etc.

I'm rated around 1100 rapid, so I take that as an approximate skill level. To most this would put me in the novice/noob level, I like to call myself an average beginner, since as I said I understand all the rules and have played a fair bit (about 1000 games on this site so far),  and can beat the average person on the street (probably). But I'm still pretty bad overall.

I see the beauty of chess, it's a beautiful, yet cruel game. It rewards the brilliant and punishes the weak. If you blunder it's your fault, not the luck of the dice or cards etc. I see the art of a beautiful fork, pin, or mate etc. I don't want to lose my interest in this game, but I do want to improve and not just lose any and all motivation for this great game. I'm 23, so I'm still young, but I hugely regret not playing more chess as a child when I could have absorbed more information than I'm able to now.

Thanks for the post, and for analysing that game, though I realise I played very badly in that particular game, I understand your explanations for the mistakes. And I do understand the difficulty of the game, if chess were easy we'd all be experts at it. And I wouldn't be here.

I did mention about blitz, since I'm aware it doesn't help. I play it more for fun than as a means to improve, though I'll try to play less in future and play more rapid.

DiedreSkye gives excellent advice.

In addition, one of your phrases really stuck out to me. You say you can follow along. Following is not enough. You need to study actively. That means setting up positions and trying to analyze them, do the calculations, figure out the positional imbalances, etc. It isn't that watching a video is in itself bad. But the tendency is to just think you can soak in the material without active work. That may work in the long-long run but it is inefficient. Same with books. Don't just read them. Pick them apart and try to really understand them. Again that means calculation, etc.

Matthew, you say you're annoyed when you get a tactic problem wrong, but they are signposts to what you do not understand about chess.  And when you do them, don't feel pressured by time: better to take 5 minutes to see the patterns/combination than to guess in the ridiculous 10 seconds claimed to be the expected time. You need to rework the problem (the Tactics Trainer lets you do it unrated, so it won't cost you more points) until you get it right.  At that point, you need to ask yourself what tactics were involved and look at the TAGS others attached to the problem and see if they agree. The you need to ask yourself why you didn't see the tactic or the combination pattern.

As Martin Weteschnik's says in his very excellent Chess Tactics from Scratch, 2^nd Ed. (c.2012) (pp. 16-23):  "Solving tactical puzzles without fully understanding the underlying mechanisms is not the most efficient way to learn. Instead you must first understand the elements of combinations....[the patterns] might look...trivial...but might turn up in complicated situations. Only if you know these simple patterns by heart will you be able to recognize them in very difficult situations. Have you ever lost due to an unforeseen [tactic]? [From such] games,...put the positions on a board and try to figure out why these [tactics] came as surprises.  Don't be satisfied with just being able to pinpoint the exact mistakes. Always try to understand the underlying causes of your defeats. In some sense all defeats are caused by lack of understanding. So the question one must ask oneself after a loss is: What more do I need to understand to improve my chess?”

You should slowly memorize, and then review from time-to-time, lists of tactics and positions like:

https://www.chess.com/article/view/chess-tactics--definitions-and-examples

https://chesstempo.com/tactical-motifs.html

https://chesstempo.com/positional-motifs.html

That's also what annoys me, when I do get a tactic wrong, and often I'll see the solution and be like (expletive) it was so simple. But I might not get it even after a long think.

I was going to offer advice, but after the excellent advice you already got from @DeirdreSkye and @madratter7, anything I could say would be redundant. My only contribution will therefore relate solely to age: I am 67 years old and just returned to chess after many years away. I'm working hard at improving my chess knowledge and skills and this year played some of the best chess of my life. The point: at age 23, you have plenty of time to improve if you truly have the desire. If I can do it, you most surely can. Go for it.

I must add @MickinMD to my last: his comment posted while I was composing mine.

Thanks for all the advice I guess. I didn't think this thread would upset me like it has. It all seems so obvious in someone else's words.

I am in a very similar position. I am 13 years old and I am interested in chess, but I can't seem to improve at the rate I would like to. I play blitz and bullet as well, probably more than I should, and I do play a lot of daily games, but I just don't feel like I'm improving enough. I have played for 4 years and just got a membership on the site, but I am kind of stuck around 900-950 blitz rating and 1150-1250 daily rating and I can't seem to make it to the next level. I also get frustrated, a lot like you, when I miss tactics and I am hard on myself. Any tips would be appreciated!

@mjharris77, you are probably a bit stronger than me (your tactics, blitz, and rapid are all about 100-150 points higher than mine), but maybe we could chat about strategies and how to stay motivated? I am going through a similar phase and it would help to have a friend to talk to about improvement!

I see your rapid is 1300 or so but only played 4 games. But yes of course, though not right now as I'm literally off to bed very soon!

Oh, yeah! That's right, I forgot that my rapid was that high! My true rapid is probably much lower!

And, yeah, me too! Talk to you later!

Come again? 😕

That's not a bad idea and something I've considered. Possibly I might do that in the new year. However it'll be tough without a proper coach.

Listen to DeirdreSkye.  He knows what he's talking about. 

I never said he didn't?

I know you didn't.  

I've made a decision which I think will help. I probably won't be able to fully do this until new year, but I've decided I'm going to start a sort of Rapid Chess Diary. Essentially I'll be playing only rapid chess (and daily of course but I won't be recording those as much if at all), and probably 45 or 30 mins each. Longer time controls will give more time to think on my part and hopefully I won't blunder. Furthermore less people in general will play 45 mins games so it's less likely the opponent will treat a 45 game like a 10 min game. But then after each game I'll make some notes on moves played by myself and my opponent and come to a conclusion on each game (such as learn more about Sicilian or playing against d4 or whatever). In that way I'll sort of have a bank of mistakes and a sort of structure to my learning. Plus since the thread will be public it'll allow anyone else to comment on my games.

@mjharris77, you can add me as a friend and we can play training games if you so wish.