I am slightly afraid of losing. How do I overcome this obstacle?

I know how debilitating it is to your chess game if you're afraid of losing, and so I want to overcome this obstacle once and for all. I am a tournament player who's rated about high 1800 / low 1900. It has fluctuated a bit and I haven't been to any big tournaments except for the local club where I live. I used to go to a lot of tournaments, but I stopped because high school was becoming time-consuming.

Just this past month, I have realized that I am afraid of losing a tournament rated game. That explains why 1) I play very very passive moves against everybody 2) I am very unconfident 3) I constantly run into time trouble because I am overanalyzing everything 4) I haven't been going to a lot of tournaments lately, and 5) I take draws and offer draws when the position is not drawn.

It's because I've worked SO hard for the rating that I have and I'm afraid that it will drop and all the work that I've put into it was for nothing and all gone to waste. And also, another big factor is that I can put this on my college applications; College is just around the corner and if my rating drops way down, I can't put down anything on my college applications.

I know that a rating is only a number, but all the reasons that I've listed above are internal reminders whenever I play a tournament-rated game. How do I overcome this? Thanks.

Play the Bongcloud, then you can blame it on the opening.

What do you mean when you say you could put your rating on a college application, noodlex? I'm still thinking about what you wrote, so I have nothing beyond that initial question

A lot of people have told me that it would look good on college applications, especially because I'm in the Top 100 list for under my age based on rating.

I had this same probem and I was stuck in the mid 1800's.  I just focued on studying lots of tactics and looked at alot of Tal's games.  Now my CFC (Chess Federation of Canada) rating is 1985 and my Fide is 2030.

If you have worked hard for that rating, then you ought to be able to hold on to it.

On the other hand, if it will help you out, then do like the GMs and offer a draw before 20 moves.

 Is not that easy to overcome this problem Anthony, need to be done step by step to get back on track.

noodlex, this is definitely one of the most difficult problems to get over. I'm sure you already know what separates all of those talented athletes that work hard in their respective sports: nerves. I would google some athletes I admire, and see if they say something about how they cope with nerves, that may resonate with me. Otherwise, this is quite a typical problem that could be difficult to overcome

Also, you may notice some kid trying to make fun of your topic by heading his topics in parody of yours. I think he's just strange, probably best to ignore him, but do what you want

Nope. Why, propapanda?

But propapanda, there is real evidence, based on a close reading of his claims, that he is having a nervous internet breakdown. Best just to watch.

@ OP

Get stuck in, play lots of games, lose lots of games, the fear will soon evaporate.

noodledex, it all boils down to this: When you want to win badly enough, the fears melt away.

Try playing against a computer for a while. You can be more aggressive and any loss is meaningless. The computer couldn't care less who it beats. Try a level that you can win and increase your level as your winning percentage goes up

I have this problem too.  I lost a rook this morning in a correspondence game and it's been ruining my day.  I think the only solution is to keep playing and losing until you get used to it.

fear of losing is healthy to some degree.

I don't fear losing only in Team match I try not to lose.

I think I could use some fear of losing in "my own" games. I might win a game or two more if I'd be more careful

but I enjoy spicing up the game. trying to built some tactics if it works I am happy. If it doesn't work out I lose.

but I think you shouldn't fear losing rating if you are as good as you say. you should purchase chessmaster 11 and look at Josh Waitzkins courses, he explains how you should look at losing. He explains the games he learned the most from the games he lost.

i tell myself this (and i believe it):

you are never losing if you are learning. 

if you learned something new, then what's the loss? try to have a growth mindset vs. fixed mindset (google it). 

So are you afraid of losing chess games, or are you afraid of losing rating points?

If you just want something to put on your list of accomplishments when applying for college, you've already got it. You can honestly write "Reached # on US Chess Federation's list of top 100 players by age", even if you later drop out of the top 100. You were at that spot once, so that's an accomplishment, and colleges will understand that. Heck, you could write a detailed explanation about how you dropped out of the top 100, because you decided to get out of your comfort zone and experiment with new techniques, and then colleges will fall in love with you, both for having guts in chess and for being honest with them about it.

The thing I always focus on is that I've got two goals, and I want to accomplish one or the other in every chess game - win or learn. If I win, then it's ok if it wasn't an instructional game for me to study later. If I lose, then I've got study material, because I can look over the game and learn from my mistakes, so I'll definitely grow as a player. No matter what, I accomplish one (or both!) of my goals for every game of chess I play.

"I am slightly afraid of losing. How do I overcome this obstacle?"

You could just accept it. There are probably worse afflictions.

Besides, I've gone to great lengths to scare myself doing something I was afraid to do. Fortunately, I survived that part of my youth.

I've heard top athletes say they are more motivated by a fear of failure than by suscess. I'm not sure if that relates to chess or not.