I can't play chess due to anxiety

I can t play chess with people due to anxiety. I went to a tournament once and it felt like a 2 day job interview. when people want to play with me I always find excuses. Playing against a computer is ok for me.  

does anyone else have this problem? Is there anything I can do about it?

I just can't deal with the tension, the stress, the fear of losing. 

surely you can!

I can help you. try these tips

1. meditate. i t will help you calm down. 2. play chess regularly and read book s avout chess. if your preparation is good, you wont be anxious

you can play with me. i x an guide ya

you are very kind. 

I have read so many books about chess, I can hardly see them anymore. Not that i remember as much as I want to. 

What's the purpose of meditation in that situation? Advice him to take chess as a game, not as a war.

How do I meditate? 

I would like to see chess more as a game. However, there is hardly a game that is more competitive. 

What gets me is that there is hardly any excuse for losing. I play other games where I can blame my losses on the dice. Chess is pretty harsh like that. Harsh, but fair. It is a beautiful game, but I can't handle it. I would really like to play. 

Take it easy my friend. I assume you are not professionally following chess, so why be so serious about winning? Enjoy the beauty of the game. Losses teach you so much. We all learn from our mistakes. 

Rightly said, Ms. Dogler.

do you know why children learn languages much better than adults?

well, yes, there is partly the idea that a child's mind is better at absorbing information, but it's also noted that children are more willing to play with language, have fun and not worry about mistakes. adults however panic they sound stupid or are making mistakes and get frustrated and anxious.

I'm gonna take a stab in the dark that '73 refers to your birth year. you probably have some of the same issues people learning language have with chess. you feel it's an examination of your mental faculties and making mistakes and not playing brilliantly reflects poorly on you as a person.

well relax. you need to play games to be a better player, and as long as you keep putting the work in that's what will happen. All the best players blunder pieces, and you shouldn't make reaching 2700 a goal because it's completely unrealistic (you wouldn't start learning chinese with the aim of writing a classic chinese novel).

try to enjoy it when you can, but also, realise your competitive spirit will greatly help in your improvement.

yeah sure but it is so frustrating! Just look at my current daily game! I believe I had a win a few moves ago and then I blew it because I thought I should do a very clever Zwischenzug! Now I am lost again, even though I won the exchange. I should have simply taken that knight. 

I have less problems with languages than with chess. Not that I have ever enjoyed learning languages, but I had to do it. 

Sure, I am born 73 and really started with chess only about 5 years ago. Maybe I am really like one of those language learners who are too embarrassed to speak. I have witnessed those, but never was one of them. 

I realised now after years of learning chess and trying to play that I don't enjoy it due to my anxiety. I wish I could be more childlike. (Even though my observation is that many kids refuse to really care about the game and others are obviously embarrassed.)

but you probably have also lost games you should have won.

about 5 of my last 7 games, I should have lost 3 that I won and I lost 2 that I should have won.

check this out, he's more than 100 points better than me, it would have been a great scalp. At move 41 I've queened after a fight back (the engine has it at around -11.00) he's dead. see how I play out the end position

here's another guy with 100 rating points on me, I've totally out maneuvered him and he's down a pawn and a piece. move 22...

I just need to my bishop to f3, instead I move my knight and gift him mate in 1.

but I could also show you the time a guy 150 points better than me decided to grab a pawn while his pieces were all over me, he miscalculated the counter-play and I scored the win. 

regardless of what happened though I'm definitely playing better. the dumb moves aren't hanging queens now, they're allowing someone to threaten a knight fork. you're now beating yourself up over missing the optimal move when you still chose a good one. maybe focus on what you're trying to achieve on a deeper level and you'll see that the games are just steps on the way to that goal, win or lose them.

My two cents worth. I never worry about losing. If I do so what? At most, it means that at that particular time and space that player is better than you at chess. It does not mean he is a better human. It does not even mean he is smarter than you. It does not even mean than he is better at chess than you. That's why world championships are played over several matches. Now if you played that person over several games and be beat you soundly every game, then all s that this situation tells you is that you need to practice more.

Do you feel anxiety when performing other tasks (like talking in front of others)? Do you feel stressed at work or in relationships? The reason i am asking is because i doubt that your anxiety is directly related to chess and in all other aspects you are super calm and confident. It may be worth looking into the roots of anxiety and not just treat it as a chess problem.

I feel anxious when playing OTB chess tournaments. To reduce it do physical and breathing exercise, avoiding caffeine and sugar prior the game, and reminding myself to take it easy and have fun playing. If it is slow chess, i take short brakes once in a while. Practice meditation helps too.