I hate myself probably more, but I think I just don't get the same feeling from playing blitz as I do from playing rapid, and when I lose I just explode in rage because tell me how cutting my time control from 10 minutes to 5 makes me go from 1900 to 900 and blunder all my pieces oh my god what is wrong with me? Does anyone else just get absolutely mindblocked when playing a faster time control or am I just not playing it correctly
I were the same when I was at 1500-1800, but then a breakthrough came and my blitz rating rose. Idk what helped, so I can't help you…. My advice that you should play 5|5 that is similar to 10|0