I just achieved the most beautiful pawn structure in the history of chess.

For centuries no one could ever achieve this, GMs said that it was literally impossible. 

Garry Kasparov said "Whoever achieves this structure in a game should be considered the best player in chess history". 

Tigran Petrossian said "I am the most defensive player ever, and I have never been able to achieve a position like this one. It is impossible!" 

Well guys, with big pride and happiness I announce you that I just achieved the impossible pawn structure. 8 pawns so beautifully structured that my opponent immediately resigned as a sign of respect. 

I know many of you will say it is photoshop, many others will say that I used an engine. But as you guys know, no engine has achieved the level to do a structure like this. 

This game is 100% real. I know that now I have a huge responsibility, since all important chess websites will ask me for interviews and I just received a call from Guiness World Records and they will put my name on the book. 

However I know that even though the position is Godly, I must remain humble. 

Guys, I will keep giving you lessons for the price of 50 bucks per hour as I did before. You are my inspiration and I promise I will mention you when I get the award of best chess player in history. 

Please, don't send me any money or flowers. Only a Thank You and maybe a kiss on the feet will be enough for me. 

I'm sure I remember seeing a Grandmaster game where one of the players... Black as I recall... ended up with Pawns on all four center squares: e4, d4, e5 and d5.

how could you be a master

https://www.chess.com/live?#a=521094

It's a real game, but nothing to be excited about...

I understand the OP is being sarcastic, but I still don't understand why that's worth posting. I had structures like this all the time as a beginner and we'd draw because each side had 8 pawns and no pawn break.

I already can see a lot of jealousy with comments like "Nothing special" or "I had structures like this all the time". But it's OK, I know that even the greatest people in history had haters, so I accept you and I forgive you. 

Now if you excuse me, I need to rehearse the speech I will give in few hours in Dubai. I am now with Sheikh Hamdan in his private jet. 

This truly is extraordinary.  Not only is Chess, the most logically sophisticated sport ever played, but it can also be the most aesthetically beautiful as demonstrated here.  Thank you Pashak. 

(sarcasm mode on) you should show this great game to the Philipine guy who is the best player here.

(sarcasm mode off) go to sleep

It's been a while since the last time I was this impressed by a chess player. Just when I thought @Lyudmil_Tsvetkov had taught us all that could possibly be known about chess, all it secrets, then, to my astonishment, I find something revolutionary, something that would make the glorious Lyudmil jealous, an invaluable chess jewel that shall be preserved forever in my memory.

I thank Pashak for sharing this and I thank God for living in a time when chess greatness is not sparse  like it was in the dreaded times of Karpov and Kasparov. Nowadays, talent thrives everywhere, and I am delighted that such chess geniuses allow this unworthy mortal to comment on their threads.

I don't see why it is such an achievement to get this pawn structure. Sure, it looks sorta good, but what makes it as good as you (and apparently a lot of GMs) claim it to be? And how can I know that you were playing against a player of high enough skill that this would be a worthy achievement? (I can't find the game or any info about it)

Ah yes, he is my student. Not the best I have created but he is a little bit slow, it has not been easy to make him learn. 

Thank you so much guys for your words of support. It is amazing how things can change in just a matter of 24 hours. Yesterday I was just another expert player under an Internet account. Today I am news everywhere. LOL Cristiano Ronaldo just can't stop calling me. 

However not everything has been awesome. Magnus Carlsen is a jealous prick, claiming that I carefully prepared all this for many years and that my opponent is actually me with another account. I am already talking with my lawyers and I probably will sue that obnoxious brat. 
I teached him how to play!!! He thought that a gambit was some sort of candy. Ungrateful bastard! 

playing bullet. tisk tisk

I know! The fact that I achieved this extraordinary position in bullet makes it even more impressive. 

i don't think the latter can hear the former over the latter's poetry

Yes, remember that the most important secret in chess is to not just beat your opponent, but to absolutely smash him! To choke him out like a Boa Constrictor would choke a mouse.

No mercy at all with the opponent. First he will be shook and then he will crumble.
And then you raise his head and you put it in the middle of the table. You drink a glass of some fine irish whisky, you check the numbers and then you decide who will be the next bum you will crush.

Chess is not a game, it is mental warfare.  

Black is ok. Do these strategy,

Take Bxg5.

Block the centre completely with Bc8, Be6.

And then play a5. Open " A" file.

With a pawn structure like mine he had no chance at all. I absolutely destroyed him

My eyes are undeserving of this holy grail of a structure