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I've had some problems recently with unknowingly disconnecting. Discussing this with tech support, here's what she told me:
When you start a game, take a few seconds and type /ping in the game chat space and hit Enter.
You will then see "ping" numbers appear for you and your opponent, and here's what they mean:
A latency/ping number between 1-30ms (milliseconds) is fantastic and would be the optimal connection for gaming.
A latency number between 31-60ms are still good. You will have a small amount of lag in the game, but it won't be that noticeable depending on the type of game you are playing.
A latency number of 61-100 is just okay. You are going to have lag in every single game you play and it's going to be more than normal. This is going to affect the way you game in quite a significant way.
A latency number of 100ms and higher is not so good for gaming (on chess.com or any other site, really).
If you look at that screenshot again, my number is 56 meaning my connection is pretty stable for a game right now. My opponent's however, is not. During our game he actually disconnected a few times and I wasn't even surprised because of his number.
If you're gaming on your computer, close all other programs you are running and windows that you have open. Also make sure you have no active downloads running in the background.
I tried it today and got a ping number of 44, so I guess I'm ok for now. My opponent's number was 115, but he didn't seem to have any problems.
Many of you likely know all this, but I didn't, so maybe it will help someone.