I suck But...

I realize I suck at chess and make a ton of blunders but JFC, 3 out of my last 12 opponents at 650-700 ELO 5min blitz had 90%+ accuracy and one had 88%. 

Accuracy scores are curved for each rating-- so you may well see a 700 play with 90% accuracy that is not in the same league as a 2000 with 90% accuracy.

Look at this game where your opponent had a 90% accuracy score:

Ok still trying to grasp what you mean by accuracy % being curved depending on ratings. Aren't accuracy scores based on the move an engine would make in that specific situation?

We all have that feeling after seeing the grandmasters play

Click this

https://support.chess.com/en/articles/8708970-how-is-accuracy-in-analysis-determined

This made some people feel bad (on the low end), and led to a lot of cheating allegations (on the high end). The new Accuracy scores, based on CAPS2, replicate the feeling of being graded on a test in school.

To me, that says that the accuracy grading changed with CAP2 so that fewer people feel bad about a low score and fewer people get accused of cheating because of a very high score.

its ok