Lol I give a heartfelt reason why I like chess and get downvoted to oblivion 😂
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Don't put so much emphasis on online rapid and blitz ratings. Try OTB at classical time controls. That is the chess for which Elo developed the rating system. See how you do there. Then work to improve at real chess.
alr, I will push harder in otb. I am 850 otb right now.