Hi. My family just bought a new monkey! His name is Crappo and I want to teach him to play chess! I heard that you can teach monkies to speak so I figure chess is easier than that? Anyway, I want to beat him if I have to to teach him chess haha. What should I do?
cheat
We can organise a match between your monkey and mine 
Try spanking your monkey.
the first step is to train him to use the rating controls- and then tactics and strategy can be taught through a regiment of operant conditioning and classical conditioning using food and electodes placed in various bodily areas- but if that doesnt work perhaps a spanking is a good call
It'll be hard. I don't think you'll be able to stop it monkeyingv around, and chess is a serious game. BTW, isn't monkey it and not he?
i disagree- monkeys are people too- so its definately he/she- just because they throw thier feces doesnt mean they dont have rights! chimps (which arent monkeys but apes) and humans have over 95% dna that is identical, and that explains alot about alot of poeple i know.
Well, I've read on chess.com dozens of times that there's no such thing as talent in chess and anyone can A) make master, B) make Grand Master C) be World Champion (A, B, or C, depending on the quantity and strength of the "no talent" Kool-aid you've been drinking) ... it's all just a matter of working hard apparently. So if you've got a hard-working monkey I guess he should be able to get real good.
It's all a matter of working hard for a few months and your monkey's rating will shoot up hundreds of points. Be sure to use separate chess.com accounts.
Well, I've read on chess.com dozens of times that there's no such thing as talent in chess and anyone can A) make master, B) make Grand Master C) be World Champion (A, B, or C, depending on the quantity and strength of the "no talent" Kool-aid you've been drinking) ... it's all just a matter of working hard apparently. So if you've got a hard-working monkey I guess he should be able to get real good.
this is good news beause i like kool-aid! and for a hard working monkey thats what the electrodes are for!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJAH4ZJBiN8
Try to put some chess pieces in there instead of numbers. And make the king look like a banana. Crappo will checkmate you in no time.
Too bad his dolphins can't swim.
I want to have a threesome with you, me and my pet monkey.
Hi. My family just bought a new monkey! His name is Crappo and I want to teach him to play chess! I heard that you can teach monkies to speak so I figure chess is easier than that? Anyway, I want to beat him if I have to to teach him chess haha. What should I do?