It happens to everyone at some point. You just need to work that out of your behavior and discipline yourself. Easier said than done, of course.
Impulsivity in chess
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Jun 11, 2016
0
#3
Indeed, your opponent comes first.... I had to learn this the hard way...
Great post that I relate with. For every game I win now I have many games I lost as a beginner due to this problem. I was playing an opponent in person yesterday & this was a big problem. All the matches were close and long but only one favored me. I went 1-4-0. My opponent then told me what had happened. I would gain the advantage, get a power rush & keep aggressively playing. What would have changed this to 5-0-0 would have been if I played conservatively after gaining such large advantages. It's hard to believe but constructive criticism like that means the world when playing chess.
same problem i have at times - moreso when i play better players - sometimes its their pressure and sometimes its the nature of chess, its hard to win even when you get an advantage
there are a lot of aspects of this that seem interesting to me. but one of the two most frequent (and frankly ironic) of this is first...
* you are particularly vulnerable when you think the opponent is playing poorly but you lack forceful Proof.
* and next, your vulnerable as well when you feel like you've got a strong position and probably will win. this is why, so often, attacks 'fail'...
anyways the point is- often when us patzers get confident we're most of the way to defeat. and unusually vulnerable to the counterattack your oppnonent is desperate to find.
I think the key to getting over this is Skepticism, composure, and a determined drive to see all possibilities and avoid idiot moves.
pretend, your one move from being sent to siberia (like the old Russian Gm's were) and you become Much stronger...
Jun 13, 2016
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#7
In other words, as much as possible, overestimate the opponent's move and underestimate your's, unless the analysis is tight and precise and the win is clear and set.
Yes. A key skill in chess IMHO, espacially in OTB Long Chess where the opponent has time to find the flaws in your thinking.
Jun 13, 2016
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#9
In the beginning, nearly all moves seem equally plausible, so it's an achievement to find a move that seems better than the others. I.e. you're finding reasons to like a move.
As you get better, you can find good looking moves without much time or energy, and now you can focus on finding all the reasons your move is bad. I.e. you're spending a lot of energy on finding good moves for your opponent to make your candidate move look silly.
Which is to say, it's not completely a character flaw (impulsivity). At least at first it's just conserving energy. It's already a big effort to find a good looking move. Then after that, it's a matter of building new habits.
that athletic effort to keep the focus is SO huge.
to those that play only quick blitz games- when you get to G90/30 or other long games. welcome to a new kind of chess. no shortcuts, no quick moves. serious and sustained efforts at find ing good moves and in finding problems with your ideas.
sometimes 2-5 minutes (whole blitz time controls) just getting one key move right. and... don't forget to keep important observations in your head.
nothing worse than seeing a fork that could hurt you, scrutinizing a deep variation then playing right into a fork you saw right away.
Had a bunch of OTB duing a work trip. the first time to play serious OTB in two years. has met thinking alot of thinking process...
Jun 13, 2016
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#11
My problem is I'll spend 2-5 minutes getting the easy moves right 
Jun 17, 2016
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#12
I am happy to report that by following my advice and pausing to ask:" What is he/she threatening " I just won 12 consecutive games and my rating shoot up 60 points. Therefore it may be worth your time to pause to identify or try to identify the opponent's threath first and foremost before making a move.
If you are like me, most games you lose in chess, are not due to errors in judgment or in tactical reasoning, but rather to impulsivity. By impulsivity, I do not mean just playing fast, I do mean rather seeing what I can do to the opponent, proceedeing to do it, and neglecting the opponent's threats. Needless to say, this ends mostly in disasters. Now as a rule, the first question I ask before making a move is: What is he or she threatening?? Identify this first, even before anything else, even before considering your own possibilities of attack, and make sure you protect against threats or you can make even greater threats, before rushing to attack. In other words, all this boils down to what Dan Heissman always counsels: ( he has even written a book about it, I think...) Is your move safe?? Those were few words about impulsivity in chess ( the way it blows up most of my games lost)....