P.A.T.G. Opening (P.A.T.G. Stands for Pawns Are The Greatest)
Make up a (dumb) opening and name it!

When I'm losing, I sometimes play the Dodd Gambit. You simply shout its name as you're being crushed.

When I'm losing, I sometimes play the Dodd Gambit. You simply shout its name as you're being crushed.
When you want to scare your opponents into resigning (don’t) do the S.T.O.P. (It’s before this message)

Dutch defense: Quadruple dutch variation
It sounds like two people speaking double Dutch!
Scicillian Defense, Queenless Gambit Edition (Qxa5, Bxa5, and Nxa5 in any move order is accepting it, b6 or Bc7 is declining it)