My Chess Blues... (Seeking 1700+ rated players help if possible)

 Over the past 6 months or so, I have started to suck so horribly at this game. 2 years ago my Rapid on here was 1275, My Lichess at one point was 1803 (Classical)...& I felt that I truly was progressing very well after only maybe 2 years of everyday play, and some good, frequent study/puzzles. Now I just suck.. I am so terrible. My opening play is sloppier than most 900s I face... If I am fortunate enough to make it to an endgame where I am in a great position, I ALWAYS!!! (AND I MEAN ALWAYS!!! Like 80% of the time just choke terribly and blindly give up my advantage like a moron who doesn't understand the game) & Recently my temper from sooooo many losses and rating deterioration has really gotten the best of me.. (and I know all the 2200 rated players always give the advice of "online ratings are just a number blah blah, we just use it as a comparison to get games"... But alot of people like me only have access to online chess for competition. That stupid little Glicko rating destroys me to watch go down so much sometimes... ) I don't know where to go sometimes.. I know my temper isn't helping, but there has to be more to why my edge in this game is just deteriorating. I am losing to players so much worse than me now. I just feel so lost... I can't stop the blunders it feels like guys. Please, please help. I have seeked advice before and gotten some help. But I really would appreciate someone to message me, maybe go over some games (believe me I know theres some AWFUL moves and tactics thats hard for me to even look at in my last couple games, but I need something, I will never quit my chess journey, these stone walls are just so so nasty some days.

Hey! I think we can chat, its not ok to lose temper, but do you remember the position or the blunder for like days? You can get better in many ways.

Hi,

I’ll work on your game with you. Sometimes just talking through things can lead to an “ah-ha!” moment or other breakthrough to move your chess forward. I’m on Eastern Standard time, you can message me if you want to set something up, I may even have time later this evening. 

-Jordan

When I was still pretty new, many years ago (before chess.com existed), I played on a site and had a rating, maybe it was about 1600.

Then I went to a different site (that was harder) and I was 1400... and every game made me more and more frustrated because in my mind I was supposed to be 1600.

I see your 1275 rating was your peak rating, so let's get this out of the way first, and it might be painful to hear, but your peak rating is not your real ability... it's your peak. For any person, a peak rating is what they have after a lucky win streak... you can definitely be proud of it, but if you start to think you deserve that rating, then just like me, you'll become more frustrated every game you play. And if you get upset, then you'll play worse. If you see your opponent is rated ____ and think "I should beat them easily, they suck" then that will make you play worse too.

So yeah, first work on your mindset. You're setting yourself up to be upset and play worse.

Secondly, to improve you shouldn't focus on your rating. In fact focusing on your results will hold you back from improving (in chess or anything else in life). Instead of focusing on whether a game was a win or loss, to improve you focus on mistakes... and then you come up with strategies for what you'll do differently next time. You set goals and standards for yourself, and you try to live up to those standards and meet those goals, and this will be for games where you win or lose, the result doesn't matter. You should be able to be proud of a game you lost, or horrified with a game you won. If you lost to Carlsen, but made him struggle, that'd be pretty thrilling right? If you won against a literal beginner, but blundered mate in 1 several times, that'd be pretty awful right?

More specifically, after each game write down your biggest mistake. Just one. As the list grows you'll notice common mistakes. If you notice you're missing knight forks lately, then set a goal of not missing them anymore. Come up with a strategy for meeting this goal such as you'll double check on every move, or you'll solve more puzzles. Maybe try creating your own fork puzzles. Play around with a knight on an empty board, what different patterns do you see? If you're losing because of something else, maybe you need to buy a book. Maybe what's holding you back is time management... these are the things to focus on to improve. Not rating, not results.