No more bot training with with the eval bar...

When I first started playing regularly, I was pottering around with the other total novices, winning about half the time, losing about half the time, hanging pieces all over the place, etc.
I realized that I wasn't really learning anything, and I would just go on tilt and lose what little rating I had. So I decided to take a hiatus from playing against people to avoid the anxiety and just focus on improvement. So naturally, I've been studying and just playing against bots.

At first I just focused on not hanging pieces in one move (or mate in one), and then I moved on to kinda basic opening principles and how to spot basic tactics - forks, pins, etc. After a while, since my knowledge outstripped my rating, when I did play a few games against people, I did extremely well. They were still making all of the novice mistakes that I had (mostly) eliminated from my game. At this point I could probably farm my way up to a low 1000s rating pretty quickly, but I decided to go back to school and keep improving. 

I know how to close most winning endgames at this point, but I'm less than spectacular at spotting forced mates in the midgame. I can finish, but probably not as quickly or as efficiently as I might be able to. Perfect area to focus on with bot training, right? So I turn the eval bar on, just to get that "hey stupid, you've got M3 - look for it."

Massive mistake. Suddenly with this bar bouncing around, every solid and principled move I had been making in game after game to secure winning positions looks like dog crap because the engine does not love them. Enter anxiety. I'm no longer playing my game and seeing the opportunities in the positions. I'm in my head, wondering what daddy is going to think of each move, and suddenly I'm hanging forks all over the place and tilting to bots of all things. It became nothing more than a confidence-killer. 

Maybe I'm a moron and I'm just totally off base, but if you're just trying to learn and get your feet under you, do not repeat my mistake. Thoughts, questions, and criticisms welcome.

Earnestly, maybe a month. I'm definitely getting a lot better, but I feel like I just totally sapped my confidence with this move lol

I am not sure I understood, you have the eval bar during a game, or afterwards? I evaluate the game after I play it, just to see what I'm going to learn.

Occasionally I find that I ground out the win in an endgame when there was a much quicker mate on the board, then that is great, that becomes a pattern to study.

Sometimes I even remember that pattern later. There is a pattern in the Jobava london where you sacrifice the queen, which I did for the first time playing a month or two ago, but it was because the position was exactly as I had studied it on chessreps. But, today I finally figured out the position actually works - I won't go into all the details.

So I slam down that queen sacrifice and I was thrilled, Pablo bot - doesn't take the queen sacrifice. Oh geez. anyway, it didn't matter I still forced the queens off the board and was up two pawns.

I'm a big fan of playing bots and using the evaluations after the game, but I'm just looking for a nugget of wisdom. Just one lesson that I hopefully remember later - I do pick the one that I want to learn, to fit within my playing style, naturally. But I mean I'm still at the point the lessons are usually obvious. Lessons liek oh you don't blunder your pawns in the endgame are still lessons I learn each day.

I'm only 489 on this site, because I stopped playing humans and cannot be bothered with it. But over the board, I was rated 917 at my first tournament and I'm sure that will go up at my next tournament.

During games against bots, just to help me spot mating opportunities that my stupid self would otherwise miss, for learning purposes.