Please help me to understand this blunder
Nf4 blocks the rook's access to the f-file and allows white to castle. After 16. fxe5, the white king is very vulnerable. In fact, while going through this game I was very uncomfortable with white's recklessness wrt his king. Nf4 basically gives white a way out of an extremely awkward, dangerous position.
I think aaronprince hit the nail on the head. Nf4, and black loses his initiative. Nh4, black keeps his initiative.
My sincerest thanks to all y'all. 8) It's been irritating me to no end this evening. You know, I played fxe5 in hopes that the file would open up for my rook and so I could prevent castling. I have no idea why I decided it was OK to allow it afterwards. The analysis above is correct - that rook severely restricts the ability to get the king to safety.
It's people like you 3 who make chess so wonderful. THANK you for your help, guys.