Politeness

OK - so I don't particularly want everyone's life story, I do like to say "hello" or "good luck" or "how do you do?" to my opponents at the start of a game.

If they don't have the decency to hit 3 keys (h, i, and <enter>) to reply, is there any reason I shouldn't make them wait until the last quarter-hour for every move?

I've also seen an instance of innappropriate language on the forums tonight. It's not too encouraging, especially when my kids are asking to play on this site.

I don't generally converse, and don't expect it, either. But if someone says 'hi' I will respond.

As for waiting until the last quarter-hour, well, it wouldn't bother me if I was on the other end of that.

I DO think it would be good manners to let your opponent know that you are retiring or taking off for awhile if you have played a few moves 'live' on a 1-day or longer game. 

tony23 wrote:

I don't generally converse, and don't expect it, either. But if someone says 'hi' I will respond.

As for waiting until the last quarter-hour, well, it wouldn't bother me if I was on the other end of that.

I DO think it would be good manners to let your opponent know that you are retiring or taking off for awhile if you have played a few moves 'live' on a 1-day or longer game. 

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I agree with your last comment, I think we all have our own ideas of what constitutes politeness, and other people should be aware of & respect these ideas.

I also played against an opponent tonight who was telling me of an experience he'd had with a rude opponent. It saddens me that there are incidents such as these, when chess.com is trying to build a reputation for having polite members.

I also saw an example of improper language.  It surprised me because everything else I've read is very classy.  Thanks for mentioning the good thought of letting an opponent know if I'm taking time off for awhile.  That's a good idea which I will start doing. 

I think the player who starts the game(whites) should say hello or another short introduction(or the player who makes the invitation to play). Sometimes someplayers make some comments(usually short comments) and we interchange few words. Already I am sharing very nice talkings with about 3 players and we talk about good chess books or sites in the web where we can find some information. The other point, of telling the opponent you will be off for some reason I think is something difficult to carry out because usually we play with many players at the same time and it is one of the many good things this site have, time to play and to make your normal things without the preassure to play in a hurry.

What difference does it really make whether your opponent speaks or not?

 

 

A quick hello or a notice ending the game is fine with me. If I want someone's life story, I usually end up getting it. However, politeness is important and we should avoid the trappings of vulgar language during a game. Batgirl makes a point, since the game speaks for itself!

"--->Batgirl,<---- makes a point"

 

yeah, that's me!

 

I finally made a point. An official point. It counts. It says so right there.

 

When you're hot, you're hot... need I say more?

 

 

 

 

 

batgirl wrote:

"--->Batgirl,<---- makes a point"

 

yeah, that's me!

 

I finally made a point. An official point. It counts. It says so right there.

 

When you're hot, you're hot... need I say more?

 

 

 

 

 

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 I think he was referring to the point a member gets every time they make a post

 

But seriously, sometimes I don't even watch the chat thing I will usually reply at some point when I realise it but I don't see why anyone should make someone wait because they didn't say hello. I personally don't really care if someone makes me wait a bit, thinking he's so clever...

 

Just made a point. 

chessbot3000 wrote:

If they don't have the decency to hit 3 keys (h, i, and <enter>) to reply, is there any reason I shouldn't make them wait until the last quarter-hour for every move?

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Yes, there is a reason. Trying to punish people by making them wait doesn't work. Two wrongs etc. It's more of a hassle for you to do that than it is for them to wait since they will just move on to another game while you might time-out by accident while trying to be cute. Better to ignore them.

Sometimes it isn't a matter of indecency at all. Not everyone speaks the language. Not everyone agrees with talking during a chess game, some even think it is rude. Not everyone has the ability to find the letters on the keyboard after their parents set up their account. Not everyone sees the message pane. (I usually have the browser open enough to show the board but not the messages.) And of course not everybody Keres. ^_^

Timmy: Hi!

Professor Chess: *SMACK! SMACK! SMACKKITY-SMACK!* QUIET! I'M PLAYING CHESS!

Timmy:

But aside from that I agree. These people really need to be more well mannered. I usually say 'hi' or 'goodluck' at first and then 'handshake' afterwards.

This is the best behaved chess server I've ever been on. Only one person said anything mildly rude to me. Called me a "stupid moron." Not exactly scathing.

That person never made a second move in the game and will probably never log in here again. I think most of the rudies are too impatient for these TCs.

I think that if your opponent says hi it is only polite to reply and i do like to speak to my opponents it makes things a bit More interesting but if my opponent doesn't want to have a proper conversation with me i can accept that as well

Becca wrote: I think that if your opponent says hi it is only polite to reply and i do like to speak to my opponents it makes things a bit More interesting but if my opponent doesn't want to have a proper conversation with me i can accept that as well

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I'm with you on this. Either way is okay but I find it interesting to chat a bit.

I don't think that it should be required...
but it's always a plus. 

Becca wrote: I think that if your opponent says hi it is only polite to reply and i do like to speak to my opponents it makes things a bit More interesting but if my opponent doesn't want to have a proper conversation with me i can accept that as well

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in my 2 month tenure on this site, the most any one has said across the board is hi! to which i respond "YO" which pretty much ends it. i have no problem using the chatbox in-game, and after posting a particularly good move, i might say something like"knight fork,check". after taking his queen, he semed to HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. say-maybe chess does inspire violence after all!!!!!!(lol-just kidding)

Thanks to all the contributors above. You are right, there may be some valid reasons why a person may not want to converse.

I shall play my games against these opponents as normal, and just make a mental note not to play these members a 2nd time if I want a greeting in return.

Just for your info, if any of you play against me & don't want to exchange pleasantries, then just fire off two messages, one saying "hi" and another saying "now hush" and I'll get the picture.

"Only one person said anything mildly rude to me. Called me a "stupid moron.""

 

Someone said that to me once. After a moment's reflection, I decided he may have a point. I'm not a particularly brilliant moron and I'm certainly not a stupid genius. What else is left?

 

"I think he was referring to the point a member gets every time they make a post."

 

oh

 

Well, nevermind then.

Why is it there are several players who will not move when they are getting beat. Are they trying to win by time expiration? What can be done with these players?

I always at least say "Hi" or "good luck", and if I get a response that's cool, if not I respect that even though it is kind of rude. Personally, I like having conversation it keeps things fun and interesting and that way you can get to know your opponent a little