Pre-Game Handshake

I have noticed that chess players never seem to look each other in the eye when they shake hands before and/or after a game. They usually look down at the chessboard. What's with that?

Are you playing mostly kids? Younger people, like me, are less likely to know how to give a proper handshake.

Here's an example (although the women generally seem to be better than the men at looking their opponent in the eye when shaking hands). Even pictures of Bobby Fischer show him looking down and not at his opponent.

Check out the pictures of GM's posted on the web and you'll see what I mean.

Looking in the eyes during a handshake is widely regarded to be offensive and intimidating in chess.

How is it offensive and intimidating to look at your opponent's eyes when you're giving a friendly handshake?

A Swiss friend of mine said once that it was rude to not look into the eyes of the handshake counterparty.

But now I know if I sit across from Ms. Pogonina to not look when shaking!

I think that is a culture thing. in Denmark eye contact is normal during a handshake. I was learning something about china and someone told me if you work with Chinese- you have to avoid eye contact. In crowded situations the Chinese avoid eye contact to give themselves privacy.

actually I would assume that if I played against someone from russia I had to look them in the eye

. The typical greeting is a firm, almost bone-crushing handshake while maintaining direct eye contact

source: http://www.kwintessential.co.uk/resources/global-etiquette/russia-country-profile.html

but I guess avoiding eye contact is always safe. since noone will notice that you do not do that.

I always try to learn something from other cultures.

most mistakes happens in nearly similiar countries.

How could you not look at Ms. Pogonina when shaking her hand?

Fair amount of eye contact going on in this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h02as5T1-Ko

(Garry Kasparov - Your Next Move 2009 simul)

A lot of those handshakes were after the game. Usually I make eye-contact afterwards; the tension of the game is relieved, so you feel more comfortable being friendly. Also, it's Garry Kasparov. I want to be able to say the world's greatest player looked me in the eye (GK actually did shake my hand and look me in the eye, at a book signing at a tournament).

This is the single instance in my life when I've heard that maintaining eye-contact during any handshake of any kind, chess or otherwise, is intimidating or offensive.  I was always taught that, unless you are a pinko commie rat or you lack self confidence, you shake hands firmly while looking into the eyes of the person whose hand you are shaking.  This raises several questions:

If it is so "widely regarded," how come I could not find a single instance of the suggestion of avoiding eye-contact during a pre- or post-game handshake on any chess etiquette forums or websites (save for Natalia's single post)?

If it is so offensive and intimidating, wouldn't the great Bobby have maintained eye-contact during all his handshakes with Spassky?

If both parties are maintaining eye-contact, how do they decide which one should be offended or intimidated?

Is a firm handshake also offensive to you Natalia?  Should I shake your hand like a limp wet fish while I look at my feet?

I think the more likely answer is that in most instances, the players are concentrating on the game, not on the handshake.

As a corrollary to my third question - if only one party is maintaining eye contact, how will the other know to be intimidated or offended if he does not see it?

I guess it is the same if you go to a cocktail party and there is 20 persons you do not know. you shake hands with a person while you are shaking hands you are more concentrating on the next person you have to shake hands with and forgetting eye contact. learned this at a course. that many handshakes are bascily pointless leaving no memory of you.

In the course they mentioned Bill Clinton was a master in given a good handshake that people remembered.

Yup, slick Willie could shake a hand like no other.  Dubya, on the other hand - limp wet fish hand.  I'm not sure about Barry O, but I'd imagine his shake is pretty solid.

I always look 'em in the eyes. Not being rude or anything, just the way I've always shaken hands.