lol cool
Really dirty tricks and tips for the rude player
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Well, in a tournament setting, neither of these will fly. There is, of course, the clock to worry about, and you are only allowed one draw offer per game.
How about:
1. Announce check unnecessarily, when no check is given
2. Announce J'adoube just to play with your knights... every turn
3. Refuse to use deodorant for 2 weeks prior to the match
4. Occasionally make a move by slamming the piece down with an enthusiastic "Aha!"
5. Make every move staring unflinchingly into your opponents eyes
6. Flatulate excessively
7. Spend the entire game looking at your opponent with a huge grin on your face, and if he asks, reply "I'm just really happy to be here."
8. Shake hands and introduce yourself with "I'm John and your hot."
9. And, of course, wear your underpants on your head
lol .... thats funny do u think they actually go in your favour?
oh my, those 9 points are great, LOL
I don't know what's better 4, 5 or 9! hilarious!
Those 9 are classic.
Pretend you got Alzheimer and ask what the rules are after each move
Aug 18, 2008
0
#11
1.Exclaim is that chocolate on your pieces? reach over and lick a couple of different pieces until coming to the conclusion that it must just be brown plastic. (only works if they have the black pieces or i guess it coukd be white chocolate).
2. everytime they win a piece of yours wink at them and take another item of clothing off. if you win a piece giggle a bit then stare at them....sexily.
I don´t understand this. Can anyone explain to poor me (new at this) what everyone is talking about. The only thing I am interested in is making friends online. How does one do that,by the way?
Aug 18, 2008
0
#13
The tips in the initial posting referred mainly to electronically-mediated chess e.g. turn-based chess on this website. Later submissions have broadened the scope of desperate behaviours to include under-board techniques for use in over-the-board games. I imagine the overall intention is not to encourage such devious ploys but rather to make us all aware of them so that we can counter then when they are used against us.
Point behind him and yell "Look out!!!", then when he turns around, take a piece of his off the board.
After each move he makes, announce something along the lines of "Oh yes, the ??? (fill in the blank with some made up name) Variation. You must be desperate. Now I have mate in 46.3 moves."
Hire a beautiful model with very little clothing on to spectate from a position just behind you. Get her to occasionally bend down and give you a kiss so not only is your opponent distracted, but jealous too.
Tell him "don't worry, I don't bash people who beat me at chess now that I'm out of jail."
Actually fall asleep at some point during the game. If you're a snorer - all the better.
Go to the toilet and when you come back say - oops I forgot to wash my hands, then with "J'adoube" adjust a few of the pieces.
If your position is beginning to look bad, bust into tears and start talking about suicide.
Tonightonly:"8. Shake hands and introduce yourself with "I'm John and your hot.""
First of all I'm assuming you are talking about doing this with another guy right? Because, as a girl this has happend to me, and my reaction depends on the guy, and how he delievers it..But in the situation you are probably talking about say the other guy responds favorably, would that then phase you?
1. If your opponent takes more than 15 seconds to move, grab one of your pieces and make a move, when he says that it is his move, apologise and explain that seeing as how he was sitting so quietly that you thought it was your move. Repeat as often as necessary to get desired agitation levels.
2. Sniffle loud and often, more so if your opponent is trying to deeply concentrate.
3. Get some nice chip packet or lollie packet and rustle continuously whilst searching for the exact right one that you want. When opponent looks at you, just politely ask would he like one. If he glares at you, then ask, "You don't mind, do you?" If he answers that it is disturbing him, shrug shoulders and resume from beginning.
4. Put a prepaid mobile phone in his jacket, or if necessary under his chair, then ring it. Should be enough to give you ten minutes of laughter as he explains to DOP that it isn't his phone. This will work particularly well if you also quietly say to the DOP that you were suspicious about the number of times he kept looking down at the floor while you were playing.
5. After enjoying a luscious piece of fruit or something similarly sticky until it is your move, without wiping hands, announce "I adjust" and touch as many of his pieces as you can before he screams enough.
6. During an intense period of the game, ask a beginner like question such as, "Can I castle now?", "Am I allowed to take the pawn en passant?", "Do you have to announce mate before you play it?"
7. Every 3 or 4 moves, make an illegal move, one that will be beneficial to you if not noticed. Opponent is sure to get annoyed the more simpler it is, like Bc3-f5 etc.
Given the fine list of things that is being compiled, there should soon be thirty or more things that could be tried as disturbing tactics. With a little field testing, it could be whittled down to a dozen sure fire ways to achieve the desired goal.
Aug 19, 2008
0
#18
vankey51 wrote:
... The only thing I am interested in is making friends online. How does one do that, by the way?
Method #1: Pick someone at random whilst reading a topic. Click on their name; this will take you to their profile. Click on Add to My Friends List - which will send them a message inviting them to be your friend. I strongly recommend YOU DO NOT DO THIS.
Method #2. Pick someone at random whilst reading a topic. Click on their name; this will take you to their profile. Click on Leave a Message or Challenge to Play.
alison27 wrote:
Tonightonly:"8. Shake hands and introduce yourself with "I'm John and your hot."" First of all I'm assuming you are talking about doing this with another guy right? Because, as a girl this has happend to me, and my reaction depends on the guy, and how he delievers it..But in the situation you are probably talking about say the other guy responds favorably, would that then phase you?
Well, if it was a girl, I wouldn't be so tactless. I don't see anything wrong with telling her that I think she's pretty, in turn. It might actually have the bonus of putting her head somewhere else for awhile. Also, there is the small chance that I would land a date for after the tournament! We all know how rare and valuable a pretty, chess-playing girl is.
If a guy responded favorably, I would ask to hold hands for the remainder of the match.
here are two dirty tricks I face very often, when my opponent is in a very bad position:
1) My opponent hammers the clock after he moved, and perhaps leaves his hand on the clock, after looking at it , with desperate expression, pretending, that the clock is not working correctly.
2) My opponent looks all the time on MY clock - even though I have still 10 to 15 minutes remaining - then he looks at me with an utter smile, pretending I will not make it. While doing this, some opponents even move their head about 10 centimeters close to my clock, to make sure I saw that he looked at my clock.
3) My opponent goes up and stands behind my back, while I am thinking about my move.
Well, these thread is about bad manners and unsportsmanly behavior for the chessplayer. Most of the tips are about things like: "accept defeat graciously and resign at good time" or "don't make strange sounds or movements to distract you opponent", etc.
But what about really bad dirty tips? Pesky things that most of us are familiarized with, or have suffered, or that we make use with frequency.
Of course these thread doesn't aims to be taken as a model of behaviour, but rather to put all sort of bad tips in a place so good players can be aware of all the bad things that can be done and therefore not be surprised
Note that not all points are going to be effective for all players, but you can make use of many of them at the time.
I'm gonna start with these two:
1. If the position is starting to seem lost, try to extend the game by making very very very slow moves. Your opponent may start thinking how long will the game be unnecesarily extended, and this bothers some guys a lot. And,
2. Start offering your opponent draw offers (accompanied if possible by ilogical remarks about why the position is absolutely equal) in order to annoy him and probably distract him, with some luck you can ultimately cause him to blunder badly.
Some guys are easily upset and you can profit from this if you destibilize them with irrational claimns and draw offers.