If you are so close to the other life, and feel it is so. . . forget about chess and anyting else and start praying. . .
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Now that I know I am about to die I have been considering to retire from active internet chess. So far no friends. I proposed many people to be my friend but Everyone hated to be my friend because I am so aged. Even my reflexes are so weak that I find helpless while playing live chess. Even I can not see the chess board clearly because my eye sight is so weak. What to do ?? I am in total desperation because after so much of efforts my rating is not getting progressed. I am really so depressed now. Now I started to think that I am not for chess.