Secrets of Chess.com
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your rated 1112
TiagoDevesa wrote:
5 - If you create enough unnecessary forum threads you will win 2 months of free chess mentor. 'Cause, lets face it... "What is the point of life without pathetic, unnecessary threads" (I'm actually quoting here)
HAHA!! I am now famous because I have been quoted!!
michaelmcrobert wrote: your rated 1112
a(A)nd you(')r(e) rated 1556(.) What's your point?
789159 wrote: TiagoDevesa wrote:
5 - If you create enough unnecessary forum threads you will win 2 months of free chess mentor. 'Cause, lets face it... "What is the point of life without pathetic, unnecessary threads" (I'm actually quoting here)
HAHA!! I am now famous because I have been quoted!!
And you owe it all to me ... (evil laughter) - I own your soul
I just remembered one more:
11 - If you post "first" \ "easy" or any combination of these two in the Daily Puzzle, you will prove that you are the greatest chess player in the world, and receive the Title of World Champion... 'Cause, lets face it... It TOTALLY matters that you were the first one to post, and of course the puzzle was easy for you... you're just the BEST
12 - If you post something, even when you've got nothing to say, the post will be placed on the "recent threads". (This one is actually true!)
Jul 12, 2008
0
#8
If you added an 11th item, doesn't that negate your 10th secret? In your defense, I guess that, if the 10th one is no longer valid, then 11 becomes 10 and you are once again respecting your own rule, i.e. reaching only 10 items. But then...
TiagoDevesa wrote:
Hello Fellow Grand-Masters!
I'm sure that all of you are extraordinay players who've won against the likes os Kasparov, Fisher and the Pope. However, There is still room for improvement, So Here I come!
I've been playing on this web site for a couple of months now and I would like to share with you a couple of tricks I learned that will make you unbeatable both on the board and on the Forums.
Now, these are Top-Secret informations, so don't warn any of the Staff of this website or I will be banned!
Ok, and now for the juicy stuff:
1 - Always use the Scholar's mate against anyone rated under 1500 ... 'Cause, lets face it... there is absolutelly no way they know how to defend it... right??
2- IF YOU WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY JUST TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND EVERYBODY WILL LIKE YOU A LOT MORE AND RESPECT YOUR OPINIONS. ALSO, THIS WILL INSTANTANEOUSLY WIN ANY ARGUMENTS. 'CAUSE, LETS FACE IT... WHO DOESN'T LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS SHOUTING ALL THE TIME ??
3 - When playing vote chess, type the move you are making in as large a font as possible... like for example 10.Nf3+. This way, people won't waste time reading the analysis and will play the move you made right away. 'Cause, lets face it... They aren't good enough chess players to deserve to have their own opinion.
4 - If you write a post about how angry you are because you got disconected of Live Chess, you will not only receive back your points but, also, Erik will personally promote you to Grand-Master. 'Cause, lets face it... of course you're a victim and Chess.com owes you points... (PSSTT: For extra points, use ALL CAPS)
5 - If you create enough unnecessary forum threads you will win 2 months of free chess mentor. 'Cause, lets face it... "What is the point of life without pathetic, unnecessary threads" (I'm actually quoting here)
6 - The best opening to be played in any game where your opponent is rated higher (if not, refer to point 1) than you is 1.a4. 'Cause, lets face it... It freaking allows 2.b5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7- If ioure inglish is bad enoufg iou will automaticali resseive a fri USA green-card. 'Cause, lets face it... Actually I can't think of any witty remarks... Something Something Cheater_1
8 - If you're about to lose a chess game, the most respectful thing to do is to let your timer run out. 'Cause, lets face it... Playing the game out or resigning is for begginers
9 - You should always offer draw in every move. 'Cause, lets face it... There is nothing that says "I love you" more than to request a draw
10 - In every list you create, reach exactly 10 items. 'Cause, lets face it, the number 10 rocks!
Ok... and here you have it... If you have any more advice just send them to: nobodycares@hotmail.com ... If I don't answer it's because I'm busy beating Karpov with y new 1 move mate... He never saw it coming...
Stay in school kids
PS: Yes, I realize how hypocritical I am.
Yes, you are a very big hypocrit
haha lol ...
Hypocrit, and proud of it :)... 'Cause... lets face it... aren't we all a little bit hypocrits?
Jul 12, 2008
0
#12
3 - LOL, I resemble that remark! I like the big 10.Nf3+. All I have to do is look at the recommendations and the names of the players who made them and I know what to vote :).
I read the analysis to learn. I vote the recommendation of top players to win.
Ok then!!!!
torqamada wrote: I know 5 posters to this thread who wouldn't know humor if they were run over with it. Stop the RedBull and get out more often. Humor, look it up in the Dictionary, sheesh pathetic wankers :(
I think it's pretty obvious that nothing on this thread is serious... Wake up people!
13. If you are being sarcastic or if you don't really mean something. Make sure you post you are being sarcastic, this makes it a better laugh and keeps the essence of sarcasm very intact. Of course people always understand which post is the joke. (Should I say I'm being sarcastic, or would that be sarcasm as well) you can find out yourself (sarcasticly)
Jul 13, 2008
0
#16
TiagoDevesa wrote:
I just remembered one more:
11 - If you post "first" \ "easy" or any combination of these two in the Daily Puzzle, you will prove that you are the greatest chess player in the world, and receive the Title of World Champion... 'Cause, lets face it... It TOTALLY matters that you were the first one to post, and of course the puzzle was easy for you... you're just the BEST
This one is perfect. One can find out who is telling the truth by looking to see if their rating is 2400+. Oh right, that's none of them.
The 11º was actually the one who gave me the idea for the whole thread
TiagoDevesa wrote:
Hello Fellow Grand-Masters!
I'm sure that all of you are extraordinay players who've won against the likes os Kasparov, Fisher and the Pope. However, There is still room for improvement, So Here I come!
I've been playing on this web site for a couple of months now and I would like to share with you a couple of tricks I learned that will make you unbeatable both on the board and on the Forums.
Now, these are Top-Secret informations, so don't warn any of the Staff of this website or I will be banned!
Ok, and now for the juicy stuff:
1 - Always use the Scholar's mate against anyone rated under 1500 ... 'Cause, lets face it... there is absolutelly no way they know how to defend it... right??
2- IF YOU WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY JUST TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND EVERYBODY WILL LIKE YOU A LOT MORE AND RESPECT YOUR OPINIONS. ALSO, THIS WILL INSTANTANEOUSLY WIN ANY ARGUMENTS. 'CAUSE, LETS FACE IT... WHO DOESN'T LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS SHOUTING ALL THE TIME ??
3 - When playing vote chess, type the move you are making in as large a font as possible... like for example 10.Nf3+. This way, people won't waste time reading the analysis and will play the move you made right away. 'Cause, lets face it... They aren't good enough chess players to deserve to have their own opinion.
4 - If you write a post about how angry you are because you got disconected of Live Chess, you will not only receive back your points but, also, Erik will personally promote you to Grand-Master. 'Cause, lets face it... of course you're a victim and Chess.com owes you points... (PSSTT: For extra points, use ALL CAPS)
5 - If you create enough unnecessary forum threads you will win 2 months of free chess mentor. 'Cause, lets face it... "What is the point of life without pathetic, unnecessary threads" (I'm actually quoting here)
6 - The best opening to be played in any game where your opponent is rated higher (if not, refer to point 1) than you is 1.a4. 'Cause, lets face it... It freaking allows 2.b5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7- If ioure inglish is bad enoufg iou will automaticali resseive a fri USA green-card. 'Cause, lets face it... Actually I can't think of any witty remarks... Something Something Cheater_1
8 - If you're about to lose a chess game, the most respectful thing to do is to let your timer run out. 'Cause, lets face it... Playing the game out or resigning is for begginers
9 - You should always offer draw in every move. 'Cause, lets face it... There is nothing that says "I love you" more than to request a draw
10 - In every list you create, reach exactly 10 items. 'Cause, lets face it, the number 10 rocks!
Ok... and here you have it... If you have any more advice just send them to: nobodycares@hotmail.com ... If I don't answer it's because I'm busy beating Karpov with y new 1 move mate... He never saw it coming...
Stay in school kids
PS: Yes, I realize how hypocritical I am.
I like it when people just add pages to threads by gratuitously quoting the original post.
haha yea ... that is good
Hello Fellow Grand-Masters!
I'm sure that all of you are extraordinay players who've won against the likes os Kasparov, Fisher and the Pope. However, There is still room for improvement, So Here I come!
I've been playing on this web site for a couple of months now and I would like to share with you a couple of tricks I learned that will make you unbeatable both on the board and on the Forums.
Now, these are Top-Secret informations, so don't warn any of the Staff of this website or I will be banned!
Ok, and now for the juicy stuff:
1 - Always use the Scholar's mate against anyone rated under 1500 ... 'Cause, lets face it... there is absolutelly no way they know how to defend it... right??
2- IF YOU WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY JUST TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND EVERYBODY WILL LIKE YOU A LOT MORE AND RESPECT YOUR OPINIONS. ALSO, THIS WILL INSTANTANEOUSLY WIN ANY ARGUMENTS. 'CAUSE, LETS FACE IT... WHO DOESN'T LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS SHOUTING ALL THE TIME ??
3 - When playing vote chess, type the move you are making in as large a font as possible... like for example 10.Nf3+. This way, people won't waste time reading the analysis and will play the move you made right away. 'Cause, lets face it... They aren't good enough chess players to deserve to have their own opinion.
4 - If you write a post about how angry you are because you got disconected of Live Chess, you will not only receive back your points but, also, Erik will personally promote you to Grand-Master. 'Cause, lets face it... of course you're a victim and Chess.com owes you points... (PSSTT: For extra points, use ALL CAPS)
5 - If you create enough unnecessary forum threads you will win 2 months of free chess mentor. 'Cause, lets face it... "What is the point of life without pathetic, unnecessary threads" (I'm actually quoting here)
6 - The best opening to be played in any game where your opponent is rated higher (if not, refer to point 1) than you is 1.a4. 'Cause, lets face it... It freaking allows 2.b5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7- If ioure inglish is bad enoufg iou will automaticali resseive a fri USA green-card. 'Cause, lets face it... Actually I can't think of any witty remarks... Something Something Cheater_1
8 - If you're about to lose a chess game, the most respectful thing to do is to let your timer run out. 'Cause, lets face it... Playing the game out or resigning is for begginers
9 - You should always offer draw in every move. 'Cause, lets face it... There is nothing that says "I love you" more than to request a draw
10 - In every list you create, reach exactly 10 items. 'Cause, lets face it, the number 10 rocks!
Ok... and here you have it... If you have any more advice just send them to: nobodycares@hotmail.com ... If I don't answer it's because I'm busy beating Karpov with y new 1 move mate... He never saw it coming...
Stay in school kids
PS: Yes, I realize how hypocritical I am.