Should I let my 10yr old , and 7yr old grandsons beat me at chess?

I am no GM, but I do I play every single day. I mostly against bots between calls at work, or against my friends  . When I play against my grandsons I beat  them pretty fast because they just started playing chess this past year. My wife gets mad and says I am should let them win.

When I was a teen and learned to play chess, no one let me win. MY brother beat me all the time but eventually I got better and started winning some games.   I was proud that I could beat him and he did not just let me win. So that is the approach I have taken with my grandsons. Is that wrong?

I think chess is the greatest game ever created. So I am ecstatic that my boys are learning to play the Immortal Game. Therefore, I dont want to hinder their development. But I wonder if I should let them win sometimes? I would love to hear what the good folks of chess.com have to say. Especially any chess teachers out there.

Thanks

That depends on what you and they want. If you want to make them feel good about themselves, let them win. If you want to help them improve, don't go easy on them. One idea I heard some time ago, though, that you might find interesting, is to flip the board around when you get into a strong position. Best of both worlds, I reckon.

I don't think it's good to let kids win, but in some situations maybe it's useful, for example if the game is nothing more than an excuse to bond with the kid, and the kid has self esteem issues, and you'll probably never play chess again, it could be a nice gesture.

But anyway, I've played beginner level children before. If they seem discouraged I'll set up a position where I'm losing and challenge them to beat me. That way it's a lesson and they get to win at the same time. If they're very new then it could be something like just your king vs a queen and rook.

Ultimately, young kids live every moment of every day knowing adults are better than them in every conceivable way... and older kids are not that far off. They expect to lose. In most cases if you win with grace then it should be fine. If they want to win games they can play other beginners online.

One thing I do with pretty much every casual player I play (whether they're a kid or not) is I match their pace. So for example if they take 10 seconds on the first move, then I take about 10 seconds too. I think it's rude to blitz out every move and crush them. They probably know they will lose, and there's no point in humiliating them on top of it.

That's how I see it.

You probably meant "fast" as in "low number of moves" but I thought I'd mention it.

thats some good advice . And you are correct, by fast I meant that in just a few moves I can mate them 

If you beat them with a full set of pieces, take off a knight or bishop and see what happens. If you still win, remove another piece and try again. You'll play at a handicap, but they can build confidence by beating you, without you fooling them into false confidence.

Listen, forget anything about them losing respect for you or them not getting better at the game. Those are ridiculous comments. They're your kids. Whatever choice you make is fine, but be warned. Some kids will just give up on a game if they never win, ever. At the same time, you better be ready to continuosly play him if he ends up getting good and beating you every game. Thr world wont end if you make a mistake or two during your next match...

50 years ago that mattered. These days you can play someone close to your level 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Thankfully the questions isn't "Should my 10yr old and 7yr old grandsons let me beat them at chess?"  I'm sure there are a lot of grandparents in that situation.

My father taught me chess, and he never once let me beat him, so when I finally did in my teens, I knew I had really accomplished something.  We were about even for a short while, but I never let him beat me after that, either.  That's how it should be.  It's a sign of respect to give your best game and not pretend to lose against someone just to appease them.

When I was teaching my girlfriend's daughter to play chess, every other game I would take all the pieces off the board and play against her with just my king and pawns.  That made her feel a lot more accomplished, and was quite a challenge for me as well.

good idea

I taught myself to play chess. As it turned out, i had a very bad teacher. I tend to like the “balanced odds” approach, but if they are true beginners, that probably doesn’t work. I’m curious what some of you think about using just pawns in some manner. Yet, i know the youngsters can learn much faster with all that is available to them so young. I didn’t have anything more than a board, plastic pieces, and library books. Remember the library? 

The adult teach the kids and do his best on the game. The kids play among themselves and beat each other and this way all is right and fun.

@Steven-Nowak, I would let them win occasionally or else there’s a good chance they’ll become disheartened😔 and give up. I say this as a former 10-year-old whose mother never let her win!😭

Ahhh, but here you are on a chess site all these years later anyway .

People loves to play a game if they have a thrill doing it. So you have to lower your skill to their level so that they will enjoy engaging on that activity and learns best with the least amount of time. They say that people can talk with each other when they are speaking the same language. So you have to take time to understand your grandson's reactions to your moves and gauge their strength based on those things slowly.

On a side note, do not play without your queen because it will show that you are under estimating them and that is sorta rude.

If you really want them to improve, you should play at your best and encourage them to get better so when they finally win, the sense of accomplishment they get is not false and is much greater than if you had let them win.
If you just want to spend time and have fun, you should let them win because it's just a fun activity anyway 

you still have to allow them to win a few games though, or else they might get disheartened and stop playing , and that happened to me since I couldn't beat my friend in chess for so long that i quit for a year and only started playing again recently since he got worse and i didn't

#20

It is always overwhelming to play against stronger players because of a sense of guilt whenever you lose. Specially if it build up as you lose consecutively and will lead to anxiety. It will lead to questioning your capabilities and will lose your self esteem whenever you see a board.

To counter that, a sparring partner with the same skill level will boost your mood and make a sense of competitiveness and your ego to play the game will grow with a right set of mind to improve to beat your opponent and become a better player.