Stuff Non-Chess Players Say

That is called thinking you know the rules before actually reading them. I read and understood the rules of chess at age 8, so I know they are not difficult.

Having said that, I have a cousin that I played a long time ago in a galaxy far...(sorry, I couldn't help myself). Any way, he would make up rules while we were playing. For example, I checkmated him and because I did not verbally declare it, assuming he knew he lost, but simply said, "Good game," he claimed I lost. I tried to tell him that you don't have to tell your opponent that you have him in check or that you have just #ed him.

Was that an expletive there or shorthand for checkmated? lol. 

GMP lol

@ Dragon: Shorthand for checkmate - C-H-E-C-K-M-A-T-E.

You're too funny.

¡Me gusta beber champú!

I think we (those who contribute to this forum the most) should award the following ranks among ourselves based on our biggest blunders:

CP: Candidate Patzer

P: Patzer

CMP: Candidate Master Patzer

MP: Master Patzer

GMP: Grand Master Patzer

So, to kick it off, I have hanged a Bishop, a Rook, and a Knight, dropping all three, in one game.

(anyone want to play me based on that info?)

Sure.

I dropped from 1400 to 1300. On "good" weeks I'm in the mid 1400s. (Once upon a time I was in the 1500s. You gotta believe me on that one!)

You like beer or champagne? Make up your mind! lol jk 

I dropped about 130 TT points in about 3 days.

Actually, champú means shampoo...

Me gusta beber champu! would translate to "I like to drink shampoo!"... Finally Google Translate agrees with me, but thinks that the sentence is in Galician, not Spanish.

There is a Galician dialect of Spanish, I do not speak it as well as normal Spanish though.

Soda (carbonated water) in Spanish is agua con gas. Which literally translates to water with gas. I always got a kick out of that in Spanish class.

At a Mexican restaurant, "I'll have a glass of water with that. Oh, and put some gas in it."

Mesero(a), quisiera un vaso de agua con gas, por favor.

It's funnier in English.

The most common thing I hear from non-chess players:

"I'm great at chess." 

+1

Chess player: Okay, want to play me?

NC: Sure

5 minutes later...

CP: You can't move your rooks diagonally!