Survey about the type of player

Wow! I must be a coward because I prefer opponents who are higher rated than the OP. I must be a runner because I rarely accept and almost never offer rematches. I must be unskilled because I often win on time, even from hopelessly lost positions. I must lack the ability to comprehend the world described here because I am older than the OP. Heck, just to be nice, some folks call me "mature".

I despise it when someone beats me, because everyone knows that can only mean one thing. (For the intellectual giants of the group among us, that means they got lucky.) 

Then, when they add insult to injury with the criminally cowardly deed of "running" away and declining the rematch I'm entitled to, it just confirms they were spineless weaklings with no class and know they got lucky.

For these crap weasels, I keep my own database separate from the archives of chess.com and award myself the points due to their forfeits.

If they "run" = automatic forfeit -10 points.

If they "decline" = automatic forfeit -10 points.

So don't believe the ratings here, because the well documented facts reveal they have many losses by forfeits they won't even admit to knowing about.

Incidentally, Partogi, you will be happy to know you have won dozens of these matches by forfeits. We deducted extra points from the enemy when they played another game immediately after declining your rematch request. 

(I have documented these acts of cowardice and adjusted the ratings of as many as I could with my team. We are currently only a small team made of volunteers who follow these "decline"r and "run"ner cowards, but we are updating as fast as we can, so be patient with us.

(Partogi, if you are truly interested in joining the fight, please contact us through our pro-sportsmanship address provided to you later via pm.)

On the other hand, it's perfectly acceptable when I decline a rematch because I have my legit reasons for doing so. Let's cut the niceties boys. Bottom line, I'm still the head alpha male of this world big baller shot caller important ceo of multinational corporations that keep this world spinning for the ungrateful parasites I sacrificed my life for to lead to salvation by living a solid example of how it should be.

I also donate to charities all over the world regularly and help elderly ladies cross the street while discussing the newest advances in knitting with them. Not because I enjoy knitting or that there would be anything wrong with that, but because I'm secure enough in my masculinity to drink a blue moon with a slice of orange in it. 

So I hope you listen up real good boys because big daddy's going to help clear it up for you.

If anyone disagrees with me, then it's obvious they are either a complete moron or are "pro-disease". So think wisely and then take your pick. Either way, I eat steak tonight.

did the old lady want to cross the road i hope you asked her first?

Blue Moon?? Say it ain't so. Try something manly like Arrogant Bastrd. You can put a slice of orange in it if you must.

Yeah you Americans have too many decent beers to drink fruit juice like Blue Moon.

Of course not. I picked her up over my shoulder and carried her like a sack of potatoes.

She pretended like she didn't want me to do it at first, but then, about halfway between the other side, with the mac truck approaching, she warmed up. She understood exactly where Partogi was coming from too. See, the elderly ladies have this sixth sense they call intuition that helps them to remember the names of their grandchildren come christmas time so they can fill out the gift tags correctly and none of the kids feel left out of the giving. 

Well, this one was still agile and had a mind like a steel trap. She knew what would fix the cowardlies' behavior because of something she figured out when she worked in the factory during the first world war.

We have adopted this strategy in the pro-sportsmanship committee for justice and it will be rolled out this spring.

@learningthemoves

You are my man ! Dip your pen in sulphuric acid and keep writing this poetry.

Now I'm afraid you start picking on me .....

my granny has been picking up stray men for many years learning she wants to know more about you ie firemans lift of caveman hair pull?

What I take from this thread is you enjoy insulting other players. To me the definition of a coward is a bully hiding safely behind a computer screen. I'd wager you don't have the stones to insult another player to his face. you throw around words like coward and fool... Pot to Kettle: You are black.

This is the first I've heard of Arrogant Bastard. Looks like it may fit the bill. Thanks to @Ziryab for the recommendation and @Scottrf for getting me back on the right course.

Sulphuric. Sulphuric! I knew it. I said sulphuric but they insisted what I really meant was lysergic diethylamide . After doing a quick search online, it's all finally starting to come together. My code of never picking on someone who flatters me or calls me their man ensures you are safe.

If you wrote it in lysergic acid , I'd still be licking this screen.

Now I can savely go to bed and dream about tripping old ladies...

Real spiritual bro, but race has nothing to do with it. And for your information, I am originally from the great Island of Caspiar.

Not once did I say "fool" and the last idiot who bet against my stones just happens to be on an "anything they feed me through this tube" diet

(of course, through no fault of my own due to a completely unrelated accident.) Real spiritual. Son, I'm disappointed. I'd expected better from you.

I wasn't speaking to you Learning, I was responding to the original poster. the one who thinks talking bad on the internet means something. Sorry if you thought I was responding to your post....

I know you weren't talking to me Spiritbro! . Just having a little fun. Hope you didn't take it too seriously. 

No. Just thought that perhaps I mistakenly answered in a way that targeted you :) Peace man.

Love the tubes! Busted my gut on that one. Kinda like watching some of the dog videos on YouTube.

Let's make it happen!

Like he said. WHAT?

DO NOT CONFUSE VITAL TESTING APPARATUS