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The Hippo is Annoying

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rickandm00rty

This is more of a vent than anything as I am more than aware that Hippo is not sound at certain levels (that I am not at, not even 800 rated yet). I mainly just needed to complain about the annoyance that is the hippo. Not having to think through the first 10+ moves of the game and simply waiting for something to happen is the most cowardly, trolling, annoying way to engage in a chess match. You basically ask the opponent to push against you while you sit nicely in your perfectly protected castle. No thinking, No worries. Just pure laziness. Add on top that this opening is intentionally used to just flag people and it just falls apart from a standpoint of integrity.

Again, this is just to vent. I realize that my only real option is to study further and find specific counters to the hippo but I just find it cowardly to play. When you do google searches the only thing that comes up is "What is an opening I don't need to study hard for?" or something along those lines. It's the baseball of chess - boring, drawn out, predictable. It reminds me of online gamers who use hacks to get a slight edge, almost like the "try hards" of chess, but in this case its just trying hard not to lose at all costs. Every hippo game I have played is boring, uninspired, and literally doesn't feel worth playing. I almost want to resign immediately a la Magnus vs Hans whenever I see the hippo. Am I alone in this?

Ahead of time, we can skip the comments of "git gud" or "just learn to refute, its not that solid" etc....I am VERY aware of this and am redoubling my efforts to memorize refutations. Mainly trying to vent & gauge opinions.

blueemu

Jeeze... I've never bothered to memorize a single line against the Hippo.

Why not just play natural moves?

Don't try to break things open until you have established a preponderance of force at the point of rupture. That's the main error I see people making against the Hippo... trying to open things up when there is no guarantee that the new open lines will fall into their hands instead of enemy hands.

monkeymonkeycool
who is hippo
blueemu
monkeymonkeycool wrote:
who is hippo

A Hippo defense is when you develop your Bishops on g2 and b2 (g7 and b7 for Black), creep your center Pawns forward only one square instead of two, and generally adopt a crouched, Judo-like position waiting for the opponent to commit themselves.

Regalbeginning

#3 yo mama is the hippo (sorry I have the humor of a 5yo)

blueemu
Regalbeginning wrote:

#3 yo mama is the hippo (sorry I have the humor of a 5yo)

You're so ugly... when you were born, the doctor slapped YOUR MOTHER!

Regalbeginning

Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Regalbeginning

I Guess I ain't the only guy with these jokes

landloch

Is playing the Hippo cowadly? Maybe it's actually bravery to play a sub-par opening.

rickandm00rty
landloch wrote:

Is playing the Hippo cowadly? Maybe it's actually bravery to play a sub-par opening.

I guess it becomes a question of ELO in an average scenario. If you don't know the counters to hippo or are not good enough to fight purely on tactics, especially in shorter time trials (which I try to avoid), then yeah I feel like its cowardly. Its just so predictable and boring at the beginning and just asks for you to make mistakes against a solid setup. I just find it annoying but again this is just me venting I know there is no controlling this its a legitimate tactic

rickandm00rty
blueemu wrote:

Jeeze... I've never bothered to memorize a single line against the Hippo.

Why not just play natural moves?

Don't try to break things open until you have established a preponderance of force at the point of rupture. That's the main error I see people making against the Hippo... trying to open things up when there is no guarantee that the new open lines will fall into their hands instead of enemy hands.

Yeah I mean this can work at certain ELO and beyond or longer matches but for beginners it can be a sticking point because someone saw it in a video and thought it was easy to memorize the beginning. Playing solid moves is easier said than done at low ELO but I suppose thats just part of the learning process