the salad circus

Many moons ago the Salad Circus began life in Roscrea,a small town in Tipperary. Despite this early set back the original line up were determined to play to those who would listen and to those who were sober enough to stand up straight. This early line up consisted of Jack on lead guitar and vocals, Ned on drums and Paul Joyce who played bass in an astonishing manner never before seen in the town. The band played the songs they loved by bands such as Weezer, Nirvana, Led Zep, Thin Lizzy and so forth, whilst also writing original material. In an effort to preserve his sanity, Jack relocated to Galway city and Roscrea was never the same again. Gone forever were the wild nights at various biker rallies and the days and nights spent in Charlies supping beer and dodging pint glasses. In the vast metropolis of Galway, Jack quickly found work playing with various bands across the county such as the Sugar Cuts and Cradle Jack. Meanwhile back in Roscrea a fiendish plan was being hatched which upon fruition saw current members, Ned, Tony and Paul Rowland move to Galway.

Upon their arrival in the city Ned joined local hipsters Pyramid whilst Tony and Paul went to college. Soon after, the salad circus were resurrected with Tony Fletcher on bass. Despite the flashbacks, they insisted on playing the songs they loved to those who refused to listen in such diverse hot spots as the Roisin Dubh, Kings Head and the Cellar, and they did so without ever playing Brewing up a Storm or pandering to the weak and feeble minded. After collecting an impressive amount of women's undergarments, the lads called it a day as the djs ran amok across the city. There just wasnt enough blood on the dance floor. Tensions were running high in the band, arguments over what to do with all the underwear they had amassed began to take its toll on the individual members. Various suggestions were made, lets make a wigwam. no lets make a quilt, no Frank Zappa already did that....They just couldnt agree on anything. It all came to a head one fateful night in Roisins, the crowd were baying for their heroes. The band emerged from the darkness (after much stumbling, it was fairly dark) and proceeded to rip into other people's material, with gusto. They had met gusto outside whilst smoking a pre-gig fag and he seemed alright if a bit green in appearance. About 35mins into the set with Jack performing some guitar gymnastics, a foul stench engulfed the stage. Jack, who always sings with his mouth open, sank to his knees as the toxic methane hit his ravaged lungs. To this day no-one knows the origin of the mysterious fart (in fairness though Ned did look a bit shifty before the poisoning occurred), but the consequences were catastrophic. On his way to A & E Jack swore he would not perform again, "never again will i sing with my mouth open" he roared in the ambulance. It really was poor timing on his part as in mid roar, one of the paramedics cut loose (dodgy curry), and Jack's woes were doubled. Soon after he was drinking his way across Europe and little was heard from him for a while.

In the mean time, Ned continued to play all over the country, Jack,upon his return, went on to become a vital part of the mighty Cartoon Thieves and No Banjo,recording with Sharon Shannon amongst others, Paul Rowland became a sound engineer and Tony,after another stint inside (he really was an indoor guy, usually to be found in a darkened room with a visible lack of other people), pretended to be a historian for a while(in fact, he can often be found roaming the library of Nuig, babbling about the crusades.) But just as the city was beginning to feel safe again, the salad circus returned, this time armed with original material and a new and improved line-up. With the addition of Paul Rowland and Ivan Murray(a respected artist himself) the band was complete and are now ready to face the unbelievers and are hopeful of converting those bluffing with their muffins. Initially the guys spent a lot of time playing with themselves before they realized that there were some things you just cannot do on stage. Tentative steps were taken towards a full rehearsal, the tension was rife as the guys began to arrive. In fact they had even travelled to the rehearsal site in separate cars, and stood in separate spots in the room. No words were spoken, none needed to be and even if something was said, it wouldn't have been heard over the racket Paul was making. Suddenly they unleashed the beast, ripping into some original material. All tension vanished leaving Tony's bass completely out of tune and Paul flat on his back. Peace, love and harmony burst into the room, bringing with them two squirrels and one wasp. It was almost a hippie paradise (I say almost because I dont think hippies bite the heads off squirrels, Ned), so much so that one member, who shall remain nameless, rushed out of the room and began hugging trees and some garden furniture. In fairness, from where I was standing it looked more like humping but we'll say no more on the subject. Once he untangled himself from a couple of vicious plastic chairs, our hero returned to the rehearsal and it was a complete success. Everybody emerged unscathed(except for the squirrels, Ned, I told you they needed their heads attached to their bodies). Plans were made to re-convene in the near future, more songs were produced, the boys are almost ready (I say almost cos Tony keeps  up). Stay tuned dear friends!

BRAVO!

(Though the part about the squirrels is sad, and mean)

I felt bad about the squirrels but what can you do? Long live the salad circus!!

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I think this was mis-posted in General Chess Discussion.

Nope, im fairly sure it wasn't

Inappropriate use of the F-word, for a youngster friendly site anyway.

Maan.  If I don't have the patience to get through that first paragraph...does that mean my attention span is really bad?

Oh here we go

 No but thanks for at least trying

Ok, I'll bite. Why does this belong in General Chess discuession instead of Off-Topic?

Because there is more to life than a friggin game of chess friend. I stuck it in there for the laugh. I wanted to see if anyone would read it and then I expected to answer a lot of hate mail. It seems people just can't be bothered anymore.

Yep it is indeed true, people need to be told what to do, to read, to listen to, to watch etc etc. How dull ye all are.

Wow, tones, just a general attack on chessplayers, or people in general?

brevity is the soul of wit

Join the club

Thanks for the summary.

I didn't even get past the first line. I did read the last sentence to see if there was a punch line.

People in general, although those who believe themselves to be more intelligent than others and turn out to be even more ignorant, why those people really annoy me. Coming on here and saying youngsters are offended by the F-word! I did wee on myself! Just a little, don't judge me

 Try reading the rules for the site, genius.

Duh, that's why the Off Topic forum exists. But the Chess Forum exists for chess. Why even have the different forum sections if people just post in them willy nilly?

Getting any?