LOL!!! that is great!!!
The way to win OTB!
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I recently played a game using these tactics against my 85 year old grandmother.
Needless to say she returned from the bathroom to find her egg timer smashed and myself, ironically with "egg all over my face", and a bit of red on me. Whatever that means.
The arbiter declared it a draw since the next round was starting and I lost 150 rating points. Oh well, cant win em all.
wbbaxterbones wrote:
LOL!!! that is great!!!
Thank you. I hope you topple many foes using my advanced strategic ideas, (pioneered actually by greats such as Alekhine and Rubinstein).
D:
Time trouble tricks:
- When queens are exchanged, put your opponent's queen behind the clock so he can't find it when he is promoting a pawn.
- in pawn races, move your pawn 1.5 squares a time.
I like the second suggestion a lot.
Thanks comrade.
Good show Kupov!!! Check out my thread on OTB remarks. All that effort and its only got 1 comment:(:(
With these tactics, I'll be the World Champ in no time! It'll all be thanks to the genius of the brilliant tactician Kupov!
Good nutrition is important when playing a tournament. Might I suggest three bowls of chili with lots of beans the night before, and a braunschweiger sandwich with a thick slice of raw onion just before each game.
Biological warfare?!?!? You've stumbled upon something truly magnificent!
kupov youre the best
I'm starting my first OTB event in a few days and I think that I have a few pretty airtight strategies to win nearly all of my games.
1. In a long game your opponent will inevitably take a break, in the game take as much time as possible in the opening of the game, even if you know it well. No. Especially if you know it well. This will unnerve your opponent. Now when your opponent takes a break, discreetly grab your clock from the table (make sure it's not mounted to the table) and go to the bathroom. Smash it with a hammer. Return to the board with haste and tell your perplexed opponent, when he returns, that you dropped it on the floor, insist on a time restart for both players. Bonus points if your opponent tells an arbiter that you took 45 minutes and he only took a minute, when you point out that only four moves have been made, your opponent will look like a cheating fool!
2. Whenever possible in your games yell "HEY LOOK OVER THERE" and make a wide sweeping gesture with your arm. Even if your opponent does not look over, make a big show of switching two of your unmoved pawns with each other, the A and H pawn, for example. You can add noises when you do this and try to look like you want to look discreet!
3. If you find yourself in a dire situation, drop a penny under the table, and when you come up bang into the bottom of the table hard, this will hopefully knock over all the pieces. When you and your opponent are setting up the pieces be extremely unhelpful, pretend to mistake where the pieces were any time you can and if your opponent asks you to consult your notation use one of these valid excuses; "I'm a pharmacist, I can't read my own writing", or "Notation is for Fisch, I can replay my games in my head? Can't you?".
After all is said and done go ahead and knock over the board again, what can an arbiter do? Forfeit you from a lost game? Hopefully your actions will have annoyed your opponent so much that you will either beat him in the next round, or never play him again.
4. Whenever possible (on your opponents move) knock over your king and call an arbiter over to ask if you accidentally resigned. Also at the beginning of every move call an arbiter or other player and ask if castling is legal in your position, even if you have not moved all of the pieces from between your king and rook.
With these strategies in hand I hope to come out of my first tournament undefeated. What do you think?