Things some chess players say when they blunder

I was told last year by a player I was beating in a chess.com tourney that he had proof that I was cheating - my live chess rating, particularly blitz, was 500 below my multi-day rating.  I had no right beating a player of his rating and couldn't if I played honestly!  I went on to beat him and then, in our second game, he blundered his queen.  Loved it!

Judit Polgar often said that she had never beaten a healthy male player.

I've got so much used to dropping won positions that now my brain just does not react!!! Move on to the next game!

In one game I won, my opponent did weird move after the position that he/she was surely loosing while saying "it cheats me." He/she blamed the computer or the game forced him to do the weird move.

I have no idea whether it is possible that the game cheats a user, but somehow what my opponent said could be added in the list. 

Lol many people kinda said similar things about the computer or Internet messing up on them

i dont know, the trolls always mess me up

Somtimes if my attack has gone awry I say,

"Ahh, I slipped in your blood!"

LOL I like it!

Mother - the sleeper has awakened

I set my dog near the board and tell him if I blunder show your teeth.

It's the lamest excuse ever, but in my case it's actually true:

My cat was distracting me, or:

I'm under the influence.

Ipekili, I love that picture!

thanks!!!

The most pathetic thing i´ve seen people do, is making me wait until the time is up, and hoping that i had left when they play their move. If theres a 1 move to mating the other guy and he cant escape and does this, i always wait until my time is completely up and when theres like a second left i mate him, its hilarious. He might have thought for a moment that the time was up, but then realized that i owned him.

but why waste your time and put yourself on his level? i mean i would feel sorry for him because he seems to be even more challenged then me.

i dont think thats a bad excuse, i really thikn i play better when not influenced.

cool pic. How do you get those pics, do you bind the cat somehow or is it photoshop?

I am honest about the fact that I shouldn't play chess too early without coffee! :P

Yeah, that makes me blunder sometimes. But there are worse things in life. It's only a game, after all! :)

By the way, binding cats is cruel, not cool. Don't do it. If you do it, I'll know. *Nods*