Things some chess players say when they blunder

Okay, I'm all warmed up now. Now let's play a real game!

"I was lighting a fag and inadvertently set my pants on fire"

"That's was only because we were playing Chess960! I would have killed you in standard chess!"

Or

"Sure, in standard chess! In chess960, I would have tore you up!"

I always  blunder just after I've made a good move, sort of balances it all out.

I like to give the less advantaged a leg up.

Only a total loser would play enough chess to get as good as you!

aerodarts wrote:

U keep getting up and going to the restroom to consult your chess program...so I thought, WTF, I can't beat no chess program!

That happened the last tournament I went to. The guy even stopped his clock in between.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Rats.

I didn't want to beat you, because you're a girl!

varelse1 wrote:

I didn't want to beat you, because you're a girl!

Lol what if you were playing in live and said that and then you viewed there profile and it was a adult man. Idk he wouldn't want to be your friend or rematch you for a long time... (Never)

"Mouse slip"

makikihustle wrote:

"Mouse slip"

Oldest one in the book

I forgot my glasses.

I said that to Tal.

I'd rather be lucky than good, anyday!

They might be greatful.

This makes me think of a story I read about Fischer.  When asked why he erased his move and wrote another one down, he said it's because Tal chuckled when he saw what he was writing.  I think it was Tal who asked him, actually.

I just point an imaginary gun at my head and "shoot: myself and make the noise BANG.  Then I smile and either resign or play on.

But, were you just addressing him?!?

AHHHGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY DID I EVER AGREE TO PLAY THIS STUPID GAME WITH YOU?????????? I HATE THE INTERNET!!!!! I HATE CHESS!!!!!! I HATE THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!