
Thoughts From Cheater_1

Talking to ouselves now, are we? Ha! Got your goat did I, Mr. thick skin? Alright! Now we're all set to butt some serious head. (Yeah, better watch it, I'm a Capricorn!) Excuse me for being obliged to point out the very very obvious here but it wasn't YOUR superiority over others you proved by cheating, but rather that of some computer program or other, am I wrong? So where do you get off taking pride in a computer program's superiority when it is also superior to YOU? (Speaking of which, is it just me or has everyone tried that kick-ass program at delorie.com? The guy who wrote it claims he doesn't even play chess, he just writes software - which I find AWFULLY hard to swallow, since it plays practically flawless chess! But if it even comes CLOSE to being a fact, it's certainly something HE can be proud of.) If it wasn't of course, you wouldn't NEED to rely on it to do your thinking for you! So when the time comes for me to reluctantly accept my future role as your personal tormentor in hell, you'll be able to find out for yourself just how wonderfully fulfilling it feels to lose every single Goddamn game of chess you play, and to discover to your everlasting chagrin just how absolutely useless you really are at the game and what a complete waste of your time and everyone else's too it was for you to ever even pretend to play it. I promise you that when I get you there I will break your heart, mister! Since you chose to get it set on chess, that will make it all too easy. Yes... forcing you to play endlessly against computer programs that are much too good for you sounds like a fitting Twilight Zone brand of justice for a guy who wasted his precious life dedicating himself so religiously to taking the fun out of the game of chess for everyone else just so that he could pretend to enjoy his own bogus conceited notion of fun, and then to actually presume to take pride in his meaningless accomplishment. Anyway it's feeble of mind and poor in spirit, not to mention ancient old news that you are so I'm still right on every count, assuming you can still prove I even said those things. But since this IS your forum after all and besides which you just freely admitted you can easily afford my book at unorthodoxchess.com and so have no excuses left for not purchasing your personal copy today, I shall extend to you the courtesy this one time only of refraining from adding you to my vast and ever growing list of potential Christmas coal lump recipients. You naughty naughty boy, you! Your best friend, Santa. (A.k.a. Your mortal nemesis, Satan.)

Don't understand people who conclude in this manner. You've never lied? Liar. You've never cheated at anything? Liar. So, because you've lied and cheated you're as bad as this person. Thats my conclusion, Oh noez D:

haha, did you know you just duplicated the seen were James Bond cheats at chess? they have the part oin this sites videos!

Well, there you have it, a decade in the life of a chess cheater. All true. You know, I've come to the conclusion that the reason people hate me is because they are jealous. Really. It's natural to have disdain for someone who always beats you at golf, or always gets the good looking guy because she has implants or is genetically superior. Doesn't matter how that person got to be better, whether it be cheating or luck or plastic surgery, we all have a deep seated jealousy for those better than ourselves. Remember, hypocrites, we're talking bout the internet. The internet is ONE BIG SCAM. Everyone on a dating site is 36-24-36 size 3. All the pop ups that say you are the one millionth visitor and won a 56" lcd tv are 100% TRUE. Everyone playing chess is a USCF Master. Everyone in a chat room is NOT a BOT and no one ever tries to direct you to their paysite. WAKE UP YOU FREAKS!!!! I'm sure you all guessed that I'm a frustrated chessplayer who never got to be as good as he wished. And this is the perfect medium to express my love/ hate affair with chess. I honestly derive great satisfaction knowing that I checkmated little 10 year old Johnny in 15 moves and sent him crying to his momma. It gets me aroused knowing that I cheated some 80 year old guy who has played chess all his life--probably master level--and he his having fits cuz he just got whooped by an 11 year old girl from Des Moines game after game. I'm sure there are people out there to this very day who think of at least one of my 100s of names with anger. I got pleasure from ruining their days. I ask you dopes, what the heck is wrong with escaping reality and pretending to be a GM and cheating others. Big deal. No one gets hurt--no blood is shed. Boo Hoo Hoo, you can't take it. Go cry to momma. You can't stand to lose.....and that is PRECISELY why I became a cheater. Trust me, you wouldn't hate me if I was an inept cheater and lost every game I cheated. You hate me because I took a shortcut, and with the click of a button I became the world's best chess player. Poof. If you imbeciles get angry cuz I mated you in 15 moves and you just lost 30 points and went from purple to orange, then it is YOU who are the pathetic waste of a chessplayer. If you play internet chess...EXPECT to get cheated.....it comes with the territory. And I take great pride in KNOWING THAT I MAY INDEED BE THE FIRST PERSON ON THE INTERNET TO EVER CHEAT AT CHESS and may be personally responsible for the rampant spread of program use and ruining the ENTIRE ONLINE CHESS EXPERIENCE. Live with it. My work is done.
I think the reason these people don't like you is because...you're a cheater. Plain and simple. This forum could all be a lie. Fine. Good story. Or, it's all real. Fine. Good story. I think what you need to take from this, Cheater, is that people aren't jealous after all. Let's say that I, for example, am jealous of you. I would have to be jealous over the following:
- Spending countless hours accomplishing nothing real.
- Never gaining any real knowledge of my hobby.
- Being aroused by humiliating others.
- Perhaps actually believing in my fake superiority.
- Never grasping reality.
- Destroying my vision from monitor burn.
- Ending my "cheating" career on Chess.com and people not telling you how amazing you are, because you actually are not amazing.
- Thinking that I've done something that others have not done and can't do.
- Reading these reaction posts and caring.
Well, it's been an interesting read, and really only because of all the other members' responses and disecting of your personality. I'm impressed at the anger from some of the other members. Wow. I don't know if your cheating is worse or their contempt over your cheating...and that's interesting, too.
If it helps you to feel better, prouder (and I don't think you could feel much better about yourself than you do at this point in your life), I hope it helps to know that your story has made me feel even better about my chess journey. I'm a below-average player, love the game, don't get terribly upset about losing (although it does gripe me), and I'm taking lessons from a Master and learning a lot and playing better. My chess journey is real. Now I realize how real and how fun and how already successful it's been. And I'm still young, compared to many others, so I can get better. I don't humiliate anyone unless they blunder. I don't break anyone's spirit. And I don't long to. It doesn't make me better than you, that's not what I'm saying, but I am saying that you're sad.
Thanks.


I'm not sure why you'd believe that anyone here would be jealous of you. People here are actually good at chess, not just in the land of make believe. Rather I think your need to start this post in the first place came from the fact that it is you that are jealous of those who are good at chess without the need to use a program to win.
Just like you I get a lot of satisfaction from winning chess games. However for me the victories are not hollow since I really am good at chess. You said chess is a love/hate thing for you, and that comes as no surprise. You've always wanted to be a good chess player, and cheating lets you pretend to be just that. More than that, it lets you lash out at all the people you hate, those with real chess ability. But at the end of the day, no matter how many people you fooled, you still go to bed knowing that you stink at chess, and you really, really hate that.
So after all these years this has what it has come to. You write a "confession" in the hopes that those real chess players you're so jealous of will be impressed with how clever you are and jealous of your "wins." You want to feel like all that time you spent was good for something. Just as you said, so think of yourself as the very first cheater, the one who started it all. You really want to convince yourself, and us, that you accomplished something.
I don't hate you though, and I'm definietly not jealous of your non-ability. Rather, I wonder how anyone's life could come to such a sad state. It doesn't even matter how much (if any) of your story is true. Either way we have seen what a true loser of the highest order does for fun.

Interestingly enough, and as more of a side note... it is true a lot of the time that our imperfections in games are what make them memorable. Sometimes a game with a lot of mistakes can be the funnest. Certainly frustrating to analyze later, but some really beautiful games are played from ugly.. or "incorrect" positions.
This is not meant to be a refute of any kind to our dear friend Cheater_1 who tried to help open our eyes, but has seemingly turned on us and called us names.
But just a point which I have found... that sometimes our ugliest games turn out to be very memorable.
Our mistakes, after all, are the only thing we can truly call our own. Even our triumphs are often shared by those who paved the way before us.
I'm not jealous of you because you're not better than me, I'm better than you, stupid! And I'm ready to prove it any time you think you're man enough. Put your dukes up! I wanna pound on you. Actually what I think we'd really all like to see is a cage match - two a-holes and one dildo. Loser gets it right where it goes - just like checkmate! So there can be no room for dispute over who is the victor and who is the victim. No draw, and no rematch! Photos are taken for posterity and posted everywhere so the loser's friends all get to learn of his mortifying defeat, just to make sure that he will never, ever be able live it down.
No sir, the world's heavyweight tough gay creepy poltroon elimination dildo cage match competition is definitely not one you'll want to enter unprepared. There can be only one!! And even HE will never rest easy on his laurels... but just think how much fun it'll be for the fans.
Shit always happens whenever a-holes are around.
Which reminds me of an old joke... what happened when the shit hit the fan? He dropped out of your fan club!!