Top Ten Worst Ways to Promote Chess

I invite all to come up with their own list.  Here is mine:

10. Russian Grandmaster Wet T Shirt Contest

9. Luzhin Defense - The Musical

8. "Super Armeggedon Apocolypse" tiebreakers: one side gets White, seven minutes, and draw odds, the other a thermonuclear device

7. This

6. Curling Chess

5. Magnus Carlsen Comedy Hour

4. Cooking with Ivanchuk

3. The U.S. Open, broadcast with Smell-O-Vision(tm) technology

2. Sarah Palin explains the Semi-Slav Botvinnik

And finally, #1:

The Bobby Fischer Memorial Endowment for Promising Young Psychopaths

I fully expect FIDE to implement at least half of these suggestions by the end of the year.

Bobby Fischer wasnt a psychopath

"2. Sarah Palin explains the Semi-Slav Botvinnik"

To be fair, I'm not sure anyone can explain the Semi-Slav Botvinnik  Funny post btw 

If North Korea decides peace terms with S Korea on a game of chess. (or Israeli-Palestinian conflict)

my favorite is 10.

i totally missed that lol

Sarah Palin explains the isolated queen pawn ... "Just like me, that pawn is a maverick."

Anything the Canadian Federation of Chess has done in the past 30 years should qualify.

Actually, I'd really like to see #4

How about the Kirsan Ilyumzhinov Comedy Hour? He and co-host Jesse Ventura could discuss the latest news regarding conspiracy theories, UFOs, the Bermuda Triangle, Loch Ness Monster, The Illumaniti and why FIDE is being controlled by a cabal of 3rd-World nations with no FMs, IMs, GMs, chess clubs or tnmts who routinely outvote all the member nations that actually have chessplayers and tnmts such as Russia, USA, UK, France, Italy, Ukraine etc etc. 

Quote from #7 "this": "If nobody can advance after 2 or 3 moves, the game is over."

I'd love to see the Russian WGM Wet T-shirt contest!

10. Have Gary Busey appear on the Dr. Oz  show to explain why chess is an essential part of a healthy lifestyle.

9. Wear a T-shirt with a picture of a chess board with the caption "My favorite mating position"

8. Create a new brand of cereal called "Rice Checks"

7. Make a movie about a game of chess using real people, castles and horses as the pieces, and they can discuss their strategy as they move around.

6. Make a rock video about a chess game

5. Have Dr. Phil promote chess as the key to a happy marriage

4. Sell chess boards made from organic hemp

3. Have a two for the price of one sale on plastic bishops

2. Create a chess Super PAC

1. List chess as the number one example of "The best things in life are free"

See, half of those would totally work.

EDIT: There are nearly 80 episodes of #7... HOW IS THIS EVEN LEGAL!?

I think the main problem with Cooking with Ivanchuk is that he has a habit of ... you know

They did change hosts for the other episodes.

And Magnus Carlsen can be very funny:

http://www.chess.com/members/view/dear_old_chessticles

Dan Heisman teaching naked on speed while 70's disco music plays in the background.

I've been watching more of #7 and I have to say it's kind of mesmerizing.  I've made to episode 20 so far but I don't think I can go any farther today.

Magnus Carlsen comedy hour lol. Well, wait, I'd go see that! He's cute and a fantastic chess player ;)