Topics

There are all sorts of reasons why someone creates a forum topic.  One of the more popular reasons, or so it seems to me, is simply to generate responses with no real concern what those responses might be.   There are certain topics that guarantee responses (and even though these same topics show up as regularly as seasons, they never fail).  I am curious which topics one notices most; which ones most evoke one's gag reflex; which ones seem to be the most effective at chalking up replies.

Aye, Laddie.

A funny title always gets a click from me. The most replies seem to be word game threads, while the least replies seem to be a long, rational original post. The ones that make me gag are numerous

There's always the quarterly "who's the Greatest" thread.

It's kind of a paradox that you're doing the same by creating this topic 

How about a simple, "What's the best opening in chess?" I think that satiates all your criteria.

I do like the 'chess/IQ' threads, they're usually pretty funny

True, if I see a bat, a duck, a whip, etc., then I'm going to read it:)

I was thinking : Why are Men So Much better at Chess than Women?
but that lacks the cross-species element that seems to be getting popular of late.

I like the threads where someone asks for opening advice and then insults titled players who give decent answers.

the magic mix is asking something everyone knows at least something about, is mostly opinion based, and seeming sincere in your desire for a legit answer.

I like the ones with shiny things in them. Or lots of cans I can rattle.

Now this got me thinking... Hell I haven't created a single forum topic in my more than three years long stay here... Something must be very wrong with me, or I'm just plain lazy... :P

A quick guide:

If you want a lot of responses include words like 'women' ,'god' and ' greatest'

If you want your threads deleted say anything about Germans, the smell of traditional German food or that Belgium does not exist.

If you want to get muted suggest Scandinavians should be limited to 5 posts a month or suggest Chad does not exist, they are very touchy about this.

If you want the sound of crickets start a revolution.

If you want warnings suggest the mods should be moderated.

If you cater for a select crowd use words like ' blood' , ' violence' or' insult'

If you want to get banned suggest you only use an engine when you are in a crappy position.

I normally do 75% of the replies myself to ensure I get a response because I have no dignity.

Kaynight does 24% of all my replies because he hates me but loves my threads.

No matter what your topic post it in 'general chess discussion'

What a ducky summation!

Now I know why it's called the web.

The duck has got me down.

page 2!!

This is... an impressively accurate rundown. I can pretty much read Duck's list and imagine I wasted a couple hours here instead of actually doing it.