TOUCAN'S GUIDE TO CHESS SUCCESS

Talk a lot. 
Offer draws before the game starts. 

Underhanded methods. Use whatever means necessary to distract your opponent.
Chat as much as possible. 
Annoy your opponent. 
Never forget to stop chatting after making a move.

                     ▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄███▄

░░░░░▄▀▀░░░░░░░▐░▀██▌

░░░▄▀░░░░▄▄███░▌▀▀░▀█

░░▄█░░▄▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▐░░░░█▌

░▐█▀▄▀▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▌░░░░░▐█▄

░▌▄▄▀▀░░░░░░░░▌░░░░▄███████▄

░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐███████████▄

░░░░░le░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐█████████████▄

░░░░toucan░░░░░░▀▄░░░▐██████████████▄

░░░░░░has░░░░░░░░▀▄▄████████████████▄

░░░░░arrived░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀██████

Posting the almighty toucan himself usually proves to be a good strategy. His presence alone is strong enough to make most opponents lose on time.

hurr durr this is just a joke don't actually do any of these things they're rude and disrespectful

Two can play at that game...