We Patzers are champions in the normal world

You certainly know this. You have a rating between 1200-1500 and feel often like a Patzer playing in chess.com. But against weak players OTB we are all considered chess machines, super GMs.

Some weeks ago I went to flea market in the French part of Switzerland. I saw a nice plastic chess set and asked for the price. The guy said 30 Swiss Francs, but if you win this position as White you can have it for free.

I thought, of course, the guy must have a title and wants to crush me. He told me that this game was recently played by two GMs, and white did not find the right continuation and lost.

I evaluated the position as equal, with a fianchettoed white Kings bishop and Black with prospects of attacking the white King. I moved a knight to the rim to allow a pawn move and win space. The guy was talking all the time about the position, I think he was a little bit drunk. He did two normal moves, but a little bit passive.

Suddenly he allowed me to exchange his great bishop, and from there on I knew he was rather weak. Soon he moved his Queen to an exposed square and I could develop a strong initiative, win a pawn and latter some figures, including his queen.

He didn't speak anymore about giving me the chess set, and I didn't come back to this. I felt a little bit sorry. Afterwards I thought it would be just more fun to analyse the position with him, since this was exactly was he was doing before I came.

Which are your experiences against weak players OTB?

I live in a relatively weak chess area, but there's a handful here that are pretty strong class A players and experts. Most of the same guys have been playing these tournaments in the area for years. A few years ago, an IM moved here and that's had a big impact on all of our games. For the most part though, everyone is below 1100 or so.

The trouble with being a patzer is that we can smash the rookies because what little we know, we know well.

Really, players 400 or more superior can afford to wait, and if we make a good fist of the opening, they simply play safe, and wait knowing that the extra they know will win the game in the end, even if we do not blunder.

The longer the game goes, provided that they play safe, set a trap or two without risk, they are sitting pretty.

A winning position, when they get it, is simply a slightly boring task, and they may even wish we knew more so we would resign quicker.   

So Megas, this is exactly my point, your rating may looks great compared to my, but among really strong players you are a typical patzer. The difference between you and me is that I am not arrogant.

You're a big fish in a little pond.

 

Last year a 2500 Cuban player moved into the area and began playing in our league. He did not own a vehicle so some patzers volunteerd to pick him up, drive him back home, and even take him to restaurants after after the round. They basically bowed down and kissed his toes. All this of course in exchange for free analysis of their games, perhaps a lesson or two, etc. and the man didn't speak a word of english.

I'm the guy who stood in corner of the room just watching how they fed him cake and grapes while he swung in a hammock. Never even went over to shake his hand.

Well now he's gone. Moved. Things are back to normal and all those who wanted to be his friend so bad now look like fools.

Where's your god now? Ha! He abandoned you!

Pathetic Patzers.

 

 

I thought I was going to read comments in support of the thread title:

 

"We Patzers are Champions in the Normal World"

They should have learnt the Cuban patois. Or perhaps the hammock was not all that comfortable.

The labourer is worthy of his hire.

But, I never had much time for Capablanca any way, even before his prime. 

SeniorPatzer,

Nah, they're all a pathetic bunch.

Does this mean that GMs bypassed the Patzer Phase?

Or did they just cease to be pathetic one normal day?

Friendly advice: stop posting that meme. It got old long ago.

I am a very strong otb player, rated 1388, in my club I am number 89, and many small kids are better than me. To be very strong isn't enough. I played Politician Cup in Denmark 2014, and my extreme strength was good enough for finishing , if I remember correctly, as number 382 among ca 430 players.

 

Many players that plays tournament otb doesn't  see how strong they really are, because the competitors  are overwhelmingly  strong and outshines them big time. 

384 out of 430.

That's pretty good Dijon!

Yes, I rarely lose a game to a random stranger who has never been to a chess club. Chess is actually very accessible. If someone is an athlete, you don't walk up to them and challenge them to a match because anyone knows if your body isn't trained for it you're no good. If you play chess, everybody wants to play you at least once, though. During breaks in school I was sometimes giving simuls. If I really had to, I'd do one chess board and one checkers board if the opponent really couldn't play chess. I'd win the checkers game as well.   

I did quit chess back i 1975 (came back i 2014), and one of the reasons was the game against the old man in the library. I had an advantage, and we played without clock. He was thinking very , very long, and I wasn't smart enough to offer a draw or resign to escape. So I got bored. Waited. Got more bored. In the club championship the following two weeks I lost the to first games of the year, making defending   the championship close to impossible. So after that second loss I quit chess. 

With today's chess programs on every computer, I really don't know the skill of the the average OTB player who doesn't belong to a club. How ever when I worked in the car business, over a 35 year period, there was never a question i was the best I ever encountered. Including sales events I worked at close to 100 different dealerships nationwide. Every dealership had their resident "chess champ", who was usually an egotistical salesman. I never lost to any of them. However , before I played them, they would talk as if Kasparov was a patzer. Finally, I dreamed up a test to determine their strength, before I even played them. I would ask "do you know what "En Passant is?" None of them knew. My second qualifying question was going to be fianchetto, but I never got to it. 

 

So I agree, those who never belonged to a club, or internet site are no match for us, but outnumber us by the millions. Although, to be fair, when I applied to the local Mensa chapter, they asked me what I did for a living and I told them I I was in the car business. The person from MENSA replied "Oh good! We don't have any members from that industry!"

Yes 1388 is very strong, and you at 2021 has super strength, almost the same as our seven times clubchampion Tor Guldbrandsen (fide 2042).   You doesn't see how strong you are, because there are always somebody stronger. 

That's a story I can relate to. I quit in the late 70's or maybe even early 80's, I can't recall. There was one tournament I was in where the opponent thought for 40 minutes, while I wandered around, counting pawns on other boards. Eventually he made his move and I returned to the board and and made my move. Twenty minutes later he still hadn't moved, so I went for a swim and he was still thinking when I got back. I can't even remember the result of the game but that was a large milestone in the process of losing interest.

Yes, the best way to recognise the weak players is asking them about en passant, but also asking if 2 Knights and King can win against King alone by best defence.  A lot of people think that stalemate means victory.

I am still hesitant about playing again in a club. Not because I don't like to wait for my opponent to move, this is part of the game. My problem is going home and thinking about the game, even in bed. I don't know if other people have the same problem.