Then there's a string of moves from like 9 to 17 where every move is "bad"
Well, it's good to know that my favorite opening is an inaccuracy...

How about the alternative moves like mine ? I suggest white moves 34.e5 to force draw by agreement. If Black refuse an offer draw from White. The game will be as follows:
Note: It has made base on your actual game at :
http://www.chess.com/livechess/game?id=660998015
Results of Chess.com computer analysis... (I was Black)